Broken
by DKM
Summary: The moments when we are at our weakest and most vulnerable are the moments when we need those that mean the most to us. Sometimes just knowing someone is there to help you through the pain gives you the strength to pull through. She became the strength he needed when life felt hopeless. REPOST FROM MY OLD PROFILE.
1. Trying To Fix You

**_Broken_**

Rating: M (for later chapters)

Synopsis: The moments when we are at our weakest and most vulnerable are the moments when we need those that mean the most to us. Sometimes just knowing someone is there to help you through the pain gives you the strength to pull through. She became the strength he needed when life felt hopeless.

Pairing: Oliver & Felicity, Thea & Roy

Characters: Oliver, Felicity, Diggle, Thea, Roy

Season/Episode: Between Season 1 & 2

Category: Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Smut

Disclaimer: (the usual, don't own, idea was mine though)

**AN: Reposting this story after it got taken down on my other profile. Hope you enjoy it the second time around as much as the first time.**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 1: Trying To Fix You<em>**

"Breathe, Felicity," she whispered as the dust settled. A string of aftershocks from the earthquake had just rocked the foundry. Felicity Smoak had been stuck down there for several hours, communication being lost soon after the first round of shaking stopped, alone and without a link to the outside world. The two people she trusted most were nowhere to be found.

Having cried tears of fear and anger, Felicity knew it was time to get the hell out of this place just in case it collapsed on top of her, although she doubted that would happen. She knew most of the damage had been caused on the east side of the Glades. Knowing didn't stop the survival instinct from kicking in.

The secret side door didn't budge when she tried to press her weight against it. It was probably blocked, but she kept trying. After ten minutes of shoving, it still wouldn't move, so she decided to try the main door up the stairs that led into the club. Again she was met with resistance. The more she tried, the more it frustrated her to think she was so weak.

No, I might be small, but I'm not weak.

She'd proven it time and again on the mats, taking down opponents as she trained with her boss and his bodyguard. If she put her mind to something, there was nothing that could stop her from achieving it. That's how she managed to graduate at the top of her class in both high school and college. Getting through a door was going to be a piece of cake, dammit.

Felicity headed back downstairs to try the side door once more, this time giving herself a running start. Using her left shoulder as a battering ram, she hit the metal door full force only to bounce back in agony when something popped. She'd done a number on her shoulder, she was certain. But the door had jarred open.

"Yes!" Felicity used her good arm to fist pump the air. "I still do it," she added, putting her arm down and peering through the crack in the door to see it was blocked by a large piece of sharp edged steel. Using her back and legs this time, she pushed against the door with all the strength she had. It continued to inch open.

For a few minutes, Felicity sat back against it to collect herself and rub her aching shoulder. She needed to get out of here and find out what had happened to her friends. Having not heard anything from Oliver or Diggle these past few hours was making her uncomfortable at best, scared at worst.

It was that fear that helped Felicity focus on the task of getting the door open. A few more good pushes and she'd managed to get it open enough to fit her body through. But getting past the sharp metal wouldn't be easy. She slowly began to step over the beam, but her dress caught on the jagged teeth causing her to lose her balance and fall onto it.

The searing pain of metal tearing through flesh shocked her, and for a moment Felicity though she was going to die. Taking a deep breath, she eased herself away from the beam. A quick glance down at her right leg showed the extent of the damaged the serrated edges had caused. There was a deep gash along the side that stretched from her thigh to her knee. Blood dripped from the wound and she stripped off the pink cardigan she'd worn to use as a makeshift bandage.

Staggering from the door, Felicity surveyed the damage around her. People rushed past trying to get away from the devastation while she looked on in horror. This was beyond the scope of even her overactive imagination. The Glades looked like a war zone. Death and destruction lay scattered around her. Buildings crumbled, fires raged, and people cried out for help. All she could do was stare.

In her short twenty-five years of life, Felicity had never been through anything like what she'd been through that night. Heart and mind racing, she realized her friends were still out there in the thick of it. She didn't know where they were, if they were okay, if either one (or perhaps both) were hurt, or if something worse had become of them.

Felicity banished the last thought from her mind. This was not the time to be thinking about that. They were warriors, brothers in arms. If anything happened to one, the other would be there to help. At least that's what she told herself in order to calm her already frazzled nerves.

It seemed her thoughts had a snowball effect. Once the ball got rolling, it was hard, if not impossible to stop. Different scenarios of what had befallen her friends began to overtake rational thought until panic set in. Taking several more deep breaths, Felicity tried to quell the fear running rampant in her mind.

A hand on her right shoulder caused Felicity to scream and turn violently. It took her several moments to realize the face that stared back at her wasn't someone trying to mug her in the midst of the chaos.

"Oliver!" she cried out, nearly jumping into his body as her arms wrapped around his waist and she buried her face in the soft leather of his jacket. "Oh, thank god you're alive." The tears had already begun to well at the corners of her eyes.

As she pulled away and glanced around, Felicity realized something was amiss. "Where's Diggle?" Her fears suddenly came rushing back as she looked up at Oliver's face and saw the ever growing emptiness in his eyes. "Oh, god…" Felicity's hand came to her mouth as she tried to swallow back a sob.

Oliver blinked, his distant gaze disappearing when he realized what she'd just inferred. He shook his head as his hands came to rest on her shoulders and replied, "No, he's fine."

Relief flooded back as she breathed a deep sigh. "Don't scare me like that," Felicity muttered before glancing back up at him. The emptiness had returned to his eyes. That's when she noticed the faint trail of dried tears running down his dusty cheeks. Something had gone wrong. She'd never seen him cry before.

Although it made her wince to raise her shoulder, she took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. "Oliver, what happened?" Felicity softly asked. She watched him swallow hard, his blue eyes shutting and remaining closed as if he was trying to gather the energy to tell her. When they opened again, pain had consumed them. He looked lost, hopeless even, as he stared back at her, unshed tears threatening to spill over as he leaned into her touch.

"Tommy..." It was all Oliver needed to say. Felicity felt the wave of sadness crash over her. Although she never got a chance to know his best friend, she'd caught enough about him to see he was someone Oliver cared about and that the last few weeks of their friendship had been strained. She couldn't begin to comprehend the pain he was in right now having lost someone he'd known most of his life. As a pair of tears slid down his cheeks, she wiped them away with her thumbs as she pulled him back into her arms.

There really wasn't anything Felicity could say to console him. Right now Oliver needed a shoulder to cry on, and she gladly offered up her good one without a second thought. Running her hands down his back, Felicity felt something warm and sticky beneath her fingers. She pulled her hand away to find it covered in red.

"You're bleeding!" Felicity stepped back and gave him a quick once over. Just below Oliver's left shoulder was a large red stain. It became obvious to her the injury was a through-and-through. "I need to get you to a hospital."

Oliver shook his head. "It's not that bad," he said, but as her fingers slid over it, the sharp hiss of his breath told her otherwise.

"Oliver..." Felicity was getting ready to argue with him, but his hard gaze put an end to it immediately.

"All the hospitals in the area are full. I can take care of this myself. Right now, we need to get out of here," Oliver said. Somehow he'd managed to rake in his emotions, his eyes becoming dark and distant once more. Turning, he began to walk down the street, and she noticed he was favoring his right side.

"Hey, slow down," Felicity said as she came up beside him. Her right arm wrapped around his waist as she ducked under his shoulder, letting it rest around her neck while they walked towards his bike. Although the weight pressing against her left shoulder felt painful, she wasn't about to let on she'd also been injured.

The grateful look Oliver gave her was unexpected. It took Felicity's mind off her own pain as she smiled up at him knowingly. "We'll take my car," she added, hoping it was still where she'd left it.

About half a block away, the little red Mini Cooper sat parked in its usual space. By some miracle no one had broken in or even touched it. Felicity fished her pockets for her keys and unlocked the door. Helping Oliver into the passenger's seat, she walked around to the trunk and pulled out the bag of first aid gear he'd practically forced her to keep there in case of emergencies. This was the first time she'd ever been so happy to see that thing in her life.

Hauling it out of the trunk proved to be a daunting task as her shoulder protested the weight, but Felicity managed to get it into her back seat and rummaged around until she found a towel, hydrogen peroxide, and some bandages.

Felicity walked back over to the passenger's side and bent down slightly. Her right leg protested, but she bit her lip in order to control the pain that shot through her body. Thankfully Oliver was still too preoccupied with his own pain to notice hers. To distract herself, Felicity soaked the towel with the antiseptic before she glanced over at him to find his gaze fixed on her, that distant look still in his eyes.

It was hard to watch him shut down like this, but Felicity understood. She didn't know how she'd react to finding out her best friend was dead and imagined it might be something like this. But Oliver had lost so much in the past five and a half years. This was truly where the disconnect lay. She couldn't relate, but she would try to comfort him as much as she could.

Right now, though, her attention was focused on his wounded shoulder. Felicity felt her heart begin to race as she reached for the zipper of his jacket. Glancing up, Oliver's slight nod was all the permission she needed to slowly pull it down. Gently, her fingers slipped it from his left arm, but the sharp breath he took as he pulled away from the sleeve was enough for her to pause. She glanced at him again to make sure he was alright, and with another nod, Felicity continued until he was out of his jacket.

Beneath the green leather was a grey t-shirt stained red. She gasped realizing just how much blood Oliver had actually lost. The stain was the size of a dinner plate and dripped down his side until it reached the hem of his shirt, the back mirroring the front. A half dollar sized hole sat in the middle of the mess. Felicity thought her heart would beat right out of her chest as her fingers peeled back the cotton to reveal torn and bloodied flesh. Biting her lip, she knew what came next wouldn't be pleasant.

With great care, Felicity eased the hydrogen peroxide soaked towel against the wound. The half growl, half cry that escaped Oliver's throat as he clenched his fist was enough to startle her. "I'm sorry," she lamented, her voice nearly cracking as she tried to hold back the sob threatening to escape her own throat. It was painful to watch him suffer. Felicity never liked this part of the job. Having to patch Oliver up usually fell on Diggle's shoulders, but with him not here tonight, the responsibility was hers.

"It's fine," Oliver replied, his jaw clenched as she began her task of cleaning up as much of the wound as she could.

Felicity worked quickly and diligently, making sure she didn't hurt him too much. Although Oliver was no stranger to pain, she didn't like seeing it cross his handsome face. Taping a bandage to each side of the wound, she threw the blood soaked towel into the trunk then wiped her bloodied hands with another. For a moment, she thought about patching herself up as well, but an explosion rocked a building a few streets over sending debris flying through the air and landing very close to the car.

In near panic, Felicity jumped into the driver's seat and peeled out of the parking space, tires squealing against wet pavement. She weaved through mangled streets and debris as the sun began to rise over the city. The clouds had turned shades of pink and purple by the time they reached the outskirts of the Glades. Oliver pulled out his phone and began to punch coordinates into the GPS.

Throwing a glance in his direction, Felicity could see his pale features as the sun peeked out from behind skyscrapers. The exhaustion, both physical and mental, was evident from the dark circles under his eyes. She reached over and placed her hand over his. Oliver gave her a sideways glance as the ghost of a smile came to his lips. He twined his fingers with hers and they continued on the path the GPS took them.

It was painful driving with her left hand, but there was nothing more she wanted than to feel his touch right now. Felicity hadn't realized just how much she needed the warmth of his hand wrapped around hers until it actually was. It gave her the peace of mind she'd desperately been searching for as she clawed her way out of the foundry. Knowing Oliver was alive, albeit injured, allowed her to breathe more easily.

With the sun hanging low in the sky, the road opened up as it wound along the coast, the ocean to their west and stunning mountain views to their east. Felicity had never been this far out of Starling City before, but she welcomed it after the night's events. It was the breath of fresh air she needed to clear her mind of all the death and destruction. The only reminder was the man seated beside her in all his beautifully broken glory.

Oliver had closed his eyes, but she could still feel his fingers tightly tangled with hers. Felicity knew he was desperately clinging to whatever semblance of normalcy was left in his life. Even if she'd only been a part of it for the last few months, it made her feel special knowing that Oliver Queen turned to her when he needed help with not just computer problems, but the private things he would hide from everyone else.

It blew Felicity's mind that they had formed such a strong bond in such a short amount of time, but she trusted him. Yes, Oliver had lied to her in the beginning about why he needed help, but when he'd come to her, shot and bleeding, she knew he truly trusted her just as she'd always trusted him. The lies fell away and what was left became a friendship she would cherish for the rest of her life.

An hour passed in silence as Felicity followed the GPS on Oliver's phone until it told her to take an exit off the highway into a small roadside town. Driving along the main thoroughfare, many of the quaint little stores were shuttered at this early hour except from the small diner and the coffee shop.

'Mmm, coffee,' Felicity thought, but Oliver needed to be attended to, so she decided to forego her morning cup of joe and continued on her route.

The town soon disappeared in her rearview mirror and Felicity found herself in the midst of a lush green forest on either side of the road. Every so often she'd get a peek of the ocean through the trees, but it wasn't until about twenty minutes later that it finally opened up to expansive blue waters and sugar sand beaches.

"Your destination is on the right," the GPS chirped from the cup holder, startling Felicity back into reality.

Glancing in that direction, she saw a short gravel driveway that wound up to a relatively small white and grey painted house that sat on the water's edge surrounded by sand and ocean. As she pulled up to the front door, Felicity couldn't help but take in the beauty. Although the house appeared small, she could see it was still two stories high with a vaulted roof and a patio out back.

"Oliver," she murmured, lightly squeezing his hand. His head bobbed up as his eyes fluttered open. Felicity smiled as she gazed at him. "We're here." Oliver nodded and reluctantly let go of her hand. She came around to his side of the car and wrapped her good arm around his waist helping him up. Together they walked the short distance to the front door before stopping.

"Do you have a key?" Felicity asked.

"Under the green potted plant," Oliver answered.

Leaving him to lean against the door, she glanced around the front stoop and quickly spotted it. Pushing the pot over slowly, she found a silver key taped beneath the base. The door was soon unlocked and together they stepped into the warm confines of the house.

It looked even bigger on the inside, with an open floor plan and windows that had panoramic views of the ocean. Everything was painted in shades of beige, from the walls to the furniture, giving it a light and airy feel. To her right was the kitchen, also decked out in beige marble countertops and stainless steel appliances, to her left the dining room with its small country table that sat four comfortably, and out front was the living area where a beige couch and sofa set facing each other with a white painted wooden coffee table between them. She guided Oliver to the couch, setting him down on the soft cushions before heading back to the car to grab the first aid kit.

When she returned, Felicity found him lying across the couch, his shoes kicked off on the floor beside his feet and his head nestled against one of the matching throw pillows. Flinging the curtains closed on all of the windows until it was nearly dark inside the room, she returned to Oliver's side with the bag painfully slung over her right shoulder. No matter what she tried, she couldn't escape her pain. At some point, Oliver was going to have to find out. Right now, Felicity needed to go through the first aid bag and see what else she had.

A pair of scissors, gauze, cotton pads, bandage tape, syringe, saline solution and antiseptic wipes came out of the bag. They were neatly laid out on the coffee table before Felicity stood up and made her way to the kitchen to wash her hands. When she returned, she donned a pair of gloves before taking a seat on the table across from Oliver. His eyes were still closed making her wonder if now was a good time to deal with his injury or if she should just let him sleep.

"You're staring," he muttered before glancing up at her.

Felicity jumped but recovered quickly after taking a deep breath. "Sorry," she replied. "Do you think you can take off your shirt so I can take care of… that?" she added, waving her hand over the blood soaked portions. Oliver sat up gingerly and grabbed the hem of his t-shirt. As it lifted off his body, she spotted the myriad of black and blue bruises that spanned his torso.

"Oliver," she gasped, her eyes growing wide as saucers as her breath caught in her throat. Whatever had happened that night, it must have been brutal. Felicity's gaze flicked up to find that cavernous distance in his eyes separating him from the rest of the world.

Maybe it was a good thing, considering that she was about to put him through yet another painful round of wound cleaning and redressing. But it concerned her, seeing that look. She was afraid he was shutting down again, pulling away into some inner world of self torment and torture.

"Hey," Felicity whispered, trying to refocus his attention. But Oliver kept his eyes fixed somewhere far beyond her. She placed a gloved hand against his cheek and his gaze fell on her again. Giving him a soft smile, she said, "If you need to talk, I'm here. I might not know what to say, but I'll listen. You don't have to be afraid to tell me anything. I'll never judge you."

Oliver sighed, "I know. Maybe in time, but… not right now."

Nodding, Felicity understood. Their relationship was built on trust and patience. She wasn't about to rush him into telling her anything about that night. This experience had been traumatic for both of them. Maybe they did need some time before opening up, but right now, there were more pressing matters to attend to, such as the blood soaked bandages over his left shoulder.

As Oliver sat, Felicity delicately flushed out the wound before cleaning it with the antiseptic wipes. Her eyes would flick back and forth between his face and his shoulder to make sure she wasn't hurting him too much, but all she saw was an emptiness that was quickly consuming him. "I'm almost done," she announced, trying to get his attention. It worked momentarily, but he returned to his darkness soon after.

Taping the last bandage to his bruised skin, Felicity peeled off her gloves and let them drop to the hardwood floor where the rest of the discarded medical supplies had piled up at her feet. "I want you to lie down and get some rest, okay?" she told Oliver before gathering up the trash and heading to the kitchen to dispose of it.

When she returned, he was already laid out on the couch, eyes closed, arm resting across his forehead. Felicity decided to search for a blanket before tending to her injuries. A wooden staircase headed to the second floor of the house. She followed it up and found herself in the master bedroom.

The view up here was just as spectacular as the view from downstairs. The panoramic windows bathed the room in soft sunlight. Maybe later she'd bring Oliver up here and let him rest in the large California king bed instead of the small couch downstairs. Felicity had half a mind to curl up in it herself, but she knew he would probably need something throughout the day and instead focused her attention on finding the blanket she'd set out to look for.

A large walk in closet was off to the right of the bed. Felicity opened the doors and found racks of men's and women's clothing hanging inside. Above them were shelves stacked with extra blankets and pillows. Using her good arm, she tried to pull a few down, but could barely reach high enough to even touch the wooden shelves. This was the disadvantage of being five-foot-four.

Felicity tried again, this time leaning her left shoulder against the wall before standing on the tips of her toes. The pain made her cry out, but she managed to grab the edge of a set of blankets and pillows. They tumbled to the floor allowing her to easily pick them up and carry them downstairs. Later on she'd go through the closet and see if there was anything in there that would fit Oliver, but for now, the blanket would do.

After throwing it over him, Felicity sat down on the sofa opposite the couch. She grabbed the antiseptic, a towel, a roll of gauze, some cotton padding and a roll of tape out of the first aid kit before gently peeling back the blood soaked cardigan from her leg. The gash had already begun to clot, but Felicity knew it needed to be cleaned out as well. Having watched the pain Oliver had gone through she knew this was going to hurt like hell.

Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, Felicity gritted her teeth as she wiped the towel down her leg. With Oliver asleep on the couch across from her, she couldn't take the chance of alerting him to her own dilemma. Tears streamed down her cheeks while she held in the sobs that threatened to overtake her. The pain was worse than that in her shoulder, but it began to ease when the blood had been wiped away leaving the cut clean and ready for bandaging.

Just as she had done with Oliver, Felicity placed several strips of the cotton against the open wound before rolling it up with the gauze and taping it to her leg. It was over, she thought to herself as she took yet another deep breath. Lying back against the armrest, she closed her eyes; the exhaustion she'd somehow avoided suddenly fell on her shoulders like a dead weight. In moments she was asleep.


	2. Out Of Pain Comes Truth

**_Chapter 2: Out Of Pain Comes Truth_**

Somewhere off in the distance, a phone was ringing. Felicity made an attempt to turn it off, but instead of finding a nightstand, her right hand found empty air and fell to her side against soft fabric. Cracking one bleary eye open, she realized she wasn't in her bed. Memories of the previous twenty-four hours came rushing back. The earthquake, the Glades, Oliver… She sat up and then regretted moving when her left shoulder protested painfully. This hadn't been some awful nightmare she'd just had.

The phone had stopped ringing, but she was awake now. Felicity's eyes settled on the man lying across from her on the couch. Oliver was still asleep, his head turned slightly in her direction. But that's not what caught her attention. Sweat beaded his forehead.

The short walk to his side was more painful than she'd expected. No longer fueled by adrenaline, her body was overcompensating by making everything hurt that much more. Felicity bit back the pain as she eased herself onto the coffee table. Placing the back of her hand against Oliver's temple, she found him too warm for her liking. Worry knit her brows as she reached into the first aid bag and pulled out a thermometer.

"Shit," Felicity muttered under her breath when the digital readout blinked 102.7 degrees. Pulling the blanket from his injured shoulder, she peeled back the bloodied bandage to find it already becoming infected even though she'd taken great care in cleaning it.

"Damn it," she stammered, throwing the thermometer back into the bag. 'If only I had those herbs,' Felicity thought as she chewed her thumbnail trying to figure out what to do next. She settled on keeping the fever at bay and wobbled into the kitchen to fetch a bowl of cold water.

She made her way methodically through the cabinets. Some held cans of soup and vegetables while others were filled with pots and pans, plates and silverware. Finally, she found mixing bowls of all shapes and sizes. Felicity picked one of the smaller glass containers and filled it with cold water at the sink. Once done, she was back at Oliver's side.

Another clean towel was left to soak in the water as she continued to search the first aid kit for something, anything that would help control the infection and keep his fever down. Towards the bottom of the bag, Felicity found a bottle of ibuprofen. It would work for now, but she still wished he'd stashed a small amount of those special herbs in there.

Ever so gently, she dabbed the cold towel over Oliver's forehead. His reaction was immediate. Sky blue eyes fluttered open, his gaze finding her face.

"Hi," Felicity whispered in an effort to keep him calm. The confusion she found in those soft blue orbs forced her to continue. "You've been asleep for…" she glanced down at her watch, "I have no idea how long, it's nearly seven, but you've been asleep for quite some time. How do you feel?" Dabbing the towel in the water, she continued pressing it to his neck and upper chest as she waited for an answer.

"Felicity, what are you doing?" Oliver rasped as he placed a hand over her wrist.

"You're running a fever and I think your shoulder might be infected," she answered. The warmth of his fingers spread through her like wildfire, even more so when he started tracing circles over her hand with his thumb. His eyes were no longer distant as he gazed up at her. She breathed a sigh of relief. This was the Oliver she'd grown to know and love. 'Strictly in the most platonic way' she reminded herself. 'Bull crap,' her brain chided.

"Jacket, left pocket," Oliver knocked her out of her reverie. He released her hand and she glanced around the room before realizing his jacket was still in the passenger's seat of her car.

"Be right back," Felicity hopped off the coffee table and hobbled towards the front door. She returned a few minutes later, jacket in hand.

"Are you okay?" Oliver's question stopped her in her tracks. "You're limping," he observed. His eyes fell to the bandage around her right leg and the spots of red that had appeared on it while she'd slept.

"'Tis but a scratch,'" Felicity gave him a weak smile. She could tell he didn't buy it so she chose to ignore the concern in his eyes. Rooting through the pockets of his jacket, she discovered a small satchel and squeaked triumphantly.

Handing him a glass of water and the herbs, she hobbled over to the windows and threw open the curtains to let some more light in. The sun was just setting over the ocean. As she turned, Felicity found Oliver sitting up and watching her intently. He looked cold, so she threw the blanket over his shoulders before taking a seat next to him.

His gaze never strayed from her profile. It was unnerving and Felicity found herself fidgeting with the strap of her watch. "Let me take a look," Oliver said, scooting closer to her.

"I'm fine," Felicity claimed. "Really, it's not that bad."

"Please," he murmured, his hand already resting on her bare knee.

Warmth spread throughout her body, pooling in places that she wished it wouldn't. Felicity swallowed hard, trying to keep her mind from running rampant with thoughts reserved for only the latest of nights. She couldn't escape the earnest look in his eyes and sighed, lifting her legs into his lap. Oliver's fingers ran up her calf causing her skin to prickle at his touch. A slight flush of red colored her cheeks, but his focus was all on the tape along the edges of the bandage.

Tugging at it slowly revealed the true extent of the beam's serrated teeth on her flesh. The wound's jagged edges were clear in the fading sunlight. "This isn't a scratch," Oliver said as he gazed at her, worry in his tired eyes. He pulled the rest of the bandage off before reaching into the first aid bag to grab a few things.

Felicity knew what was coming when she saw him pull out everything she'd used earlier. She sat up, mentally preparing herself for what was to come.

"I'm sorry, but this is going to hurt," he said prepping a towel with the hydrogen peroxide.

"I know," Felicity sighed as she steeled herself for the pain. "I had to clean it out by myself earlier. That wasn't very fun. It hurt like hell, but… OWWWWW!" she howled as he pressed the towel to her skin. There was no way of getting around the searing pain that shot through her. Digging her fingers into the couch cushions, Felicity gritted her teeth in order to keep from crying.

Oliver was quick. In half the time it took her to clean out the wound herself he had already begun to dress it using butterfly closure strips. "There," he said, stroking her knee with his hand. "All done." Oliver graced her with a thin smile before letting her legs drop to the floor. "I would stitch it up for you, but without anesthetic, I don't think you'd be able to tolerate the pain."

"Probably not," Felicity agreed as she smoothed out the wrinkles in her tattered and torn dress. She couldn't look at him, not with all the butterflies flapping around in her stomach. They were doing summersaults as his hand came to lift up her chin so their eyes met.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" Oliver asked. The worry still graced his features, but she could tell it had begun to dissipate now that her leg wound had been taken care of. "What happened here?" His hand rested against the bruised flesh of her shoulder and she winced.

"Ahh, that… that was from slamming into a door," Felicity answered with a cringe as he gently pressed his fingers over the joint. "Ooh, okay, enough, stop, please!" she cried, unable to take it anymore. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she pulled away from him, her body curving in to keep the pain from returning.

As she cradled her arm, Oliver said, "I think you might have separated your shoulder."

"What?" Felicity's head shot up. "Is that bad? Because it sounds really bad. Maybe I should get to the hospital and have this checked out. I'll probably need x-rays to make sure nothing is broken. Oh, jeez, I hope nothing is broken. I don't know what I'd do then…"

"Felicity, breathe," Oliver cut her off before she could go too far on her tangent. His eyes were reassuring as he added, "It's not that bad. Ice and rest and you'll be fine. Here, this should help too." He took the bottle of ibuprofen off the table and handed it to her.

The pounding of her heart slowed as she took several deep breaths and opened the bottle, shaking out four pills into her hand. Felicity downed them with the rest of Oliver's glass of water before sitting back into the couch and gazing out the windows as the sun disappeared beneath the horizon.

It was a far cry from the previous day. The silence and solitude echoed through the room. This peaceful place was a sharp contrast from the broken and shattered city they'd left behind. "Oliver, where are we?" Felicity suddenly asked.

His eyes were also on the fading sunlight as the last rays finally dipped into the sea. "Where I grew up," Oliver finally answered after several long moments. His eyes never strayed from the windows. "This was the first place I remembered living as a child. My father left it to me in his will."

Felicity nodded. She could tell Oliver was getting lost in memories as he relaxed into the couch. "What do you remember about it?" she continued questioning, slightly curious as to why this place meant so much to him that he brought them here.

"We were always happy here," he said. "I can't remember a day when we weren't. It always brings back the good memories. Catching fish on the beach with my father; my mother cooking dinner in the kitchen; the smell of the ocean through the open windows… It's like as soon as we moved to the mansion, all that happiness disappeared. Even when Thea was born, I still couldn't recapture what I felt here. I was safe, loved, happy…"

This was a side of Oliver Queen she'd never seen before. He was opening up to Felicity about his past before the island, something he never talked about with her. She took a moment to absorb the information he'd just gifted her before speaking. "You miss it," she concluded. Her hand slipped into his and she squeezed it gently. It earned her a small smile. But the brooding Oliver she'd always known soon came back. It was the way his eyes darkened and his smile faded that alerted her he was pulling away again, retreating back into whatever depths of hell he reserved for himself.

"Oliver," Felicity whispered, trying to draw him back to her. She squeezed his hand again, but he was gone, lost to his misery as his eyes grew cold. "You can still be happy."

His icy gaze fell on her. Felicity swallowed, but didn't back down. She stayed planted on the couch at his side, hand firmly gripping his as fierce blue eyes stared back in defiance.

"No, I can't," Oliver growled. His hand slipped from Felicity's as he got up and walked over to one of the windows. Eyes settling on the ocean, he stood stock still, one hand braced against the white trim of the window while the other remained at his side in a white knuckled fist.

For a while, he didn't speak. Felicity was tempted to get up and stand beside him, but she knew the tension in his shoulders warned for her to stay away. Oliver was battling with the demons inside his head, and if she tried to intervene, she'd only end up getting hurt. So she sat there, chewing her bottom lip, waiting in silence until he was ready to continue.

"I don't deserve to be happy," Oliver finally muttered.

"But, why? How can you think that?"

"I've cause so much pain to those around me. I've failed everyone. I've failed my family. I've failed my friends. I've failed my city. I couldn't stop the Undertaking or Malcolm Merlyn. I deserve to rot in hell for what I've done." His head dropped.

"Oliver…" Felicity was standing now. Oliver had put distance between them in an attempt to keep himself closed off, but she couldn't let him continue with these poisonous thoughts.

"Tommy was right… I should have died on that island…"

Felicity stopped in her tracks about a foot from where he stood, her heart sunk in her chest. "No, Oliver, don't you dare say that!" she practically yelled, unable to take his self-loathing any longer.

It got his attention. He turned around and stared at her, startled. "If you think any of this is your fault, you are sorely mistaken! You did nothing wrong. I was the one who suggested hacking into Merlyn Global's mainframe. I was the one who put the Trojan onto the servers which led Malcolm to move the devices before we got a chance to find them. If I had covered my tracks a little better, this wouldn't have happened. So if anyone fucked up, it was me!"

Felicity was panting as she stared up at him, fire in her blue eyes. She hadn't expected the sudden outburst any more than he had, and was glad to finally get it off her chest. But all Oliver did was stare, his expression unreadable. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears as she waited for him to say something, but he remained mute.

"Oliver, this is not your fault," Felicity continued, refusing to let him feel guilty or continue to blame himself for what happened. Her guard came down as the words spilled from her mouth. "If anything, you were the one who discovered what was happening and tried to do something about it. If it wasn't for you and that list, tens of thousands of people would be dead right now and half the city would be gone. You helped save so many lives by exposing the Undertaking. Don't think for a second you did anything wrong. You did everythingright."

"You think I did everything right?" he asked, a grim laugh twisting his face. "You think not being able to stop Malcolm Merlyn from destroying the Glades was right?"

"That's not what I'm saying!" she argued.

"Then what are you saying, Felicity?" Oliver countered, his eyes boring into her.

"I'm saying you sacrificed a whole lot today in order to save lives. You put everything on the line to try and stop Malcolm Merlyn from destroying the Glades. And that's what is important. Just because you didn't succeed doesn't mean you failed. You saved people. You managed to get your mother to admit, on live TV, what the Undertaking was and that he was behind it. That alone should say something."

"It doesn't say anything. It still says I failed."

"Well, what if we went back and tried to fix things? You know, do some charity work, help restore the city? A little good goes a long way, especially when you're looking for a way to 'repent for your sins', which it seems like you are, even though I don't think you've done anything wrong," Felicity babbled, but the cold stare she received from Oliver told her it had the opposite effect.

"You sound like Laurel." His voice was raw and rough and cut her deeper than she expected.

Being compared to the woman Oliver put on a pedestal wasn't what Felicity had been looking for. She knew it was what he did when he wanted to push someone away: say whatever it took to hurt them so they'd leave on their own. But she wasn't about to let him do it to her. Not when there were so many things left unsaid between them.

After taking a deep calming breath, Felicity found her second wind and replied, "Oliver, please don't shut me out. We need to talk about this. I know you only seem to see yourself as dark and damaged, but you're not. There's good inside you. I've always seen that good inside you. It's what I was so drawn to when we first met. And I know that if you can get past this darkness, you can do so much more than just cross names off that list. You have the potential to be this hero that I've always believe you to be."

So many emotions crossed Oliver's face that she couldn't tell which one he would finally settle on. The weight of her words drew a long, deafening silence between them. Felicity held her breath as he closed his eyes. She knew what was going to happen even before he opened them, so she braced herself. The look in blue eyes was colder than ice when they settled on her.

"You need to leave," Oliver's measured tone forced Felicity to step back.

"But…" she tried to argue, but that gaze was enough to stop anyone in their tracks.

"Felicity, leave," he growled.

She took it as her cue to turn around and hobble out the door. It slammed behind her and she crossed the short distance to her car in the cold night air. A chill ran up her spine as she unlocked the doors and got inside. As she turned the engine and pulled out of the driveway, the wave of emotions Felicity had been holding in finally came crashing over her.

Tears stung her eyes as she drove back towards town. Moonlight illuminated her path down the seaside road until she reached the forest. She didn't have much time to dwell on them as a phone began to ring, startling her out of her misery.

Felicity squeaked her surprise before she looked down to find Oliver's cell phone still in the cup holder where they'd left it. 'But if his phone was in here and mine is still at the foundry…' The question in her mind went unanswered as she picked it up and looked at the screen to see who it was. Relief flooded through her when she saw the name on the caller ID.

"Dig! Thank god! You have no idea how relieved I am!" Felicity practically shouted into the phone.

"Felicity, you okay?" Diggle sounded worried, and for good reason. She hadn't seen him since he and Oliver left to deal with Merlyn.

"Yeah, a little worse for wear, but I'm okay," she answered, wiping the tears that still clung to her lashes.

"What about Oliver?"

"He's fine. Are you okay?" It was Felicity's turn to worry. Even though Oliver had told her he was fine, the question of what had happened to him still lingered.

"Nothing a few stitches and some rest won't heal. Where are you guys? I check the club and the mansion, but didn't find you. I got worried when neither one of you answered your phones."

"Well, my phone is still under Verdant, and obviously I'm using Oliver's, which we accidentally left in the car for the last… day or so. How it's still got a charge, I have no idea. I'm gonna need to plug it in…"

"Felicity, you're rambling," Diggle pointed out before she got ahead of herself. "Where are you guys?"

"We're… come to think of it, I have no idea where we are," she answered. Felicity hadn't thought to check and see where they were. It hadn't been a top priority. "All I know is that we drove north for a few hours and we ended up at this beach house that Oliver apparently owns."

"The one in Astoria?"

"That would be it," Felicity replied as she saw the sign that said, "Welcome to Astoria" just as she was entering the small town. "And the sign confirms it," she added. Of course he would know where it was, she thought to herself. Felicity mentally scolded herself for not doing a thorough search on Oliver herself. She'd gone through some of his personal records before feeling guilty for prying, but this should have been something she would notice off the bat.

"Is Oliver with you right now?"

"No, he's at the house. I… went to pick something up from town." It wasn't exactly the truth, but it wasn't a lie either. They were running low on some medical supplies, so finding a pharmacy or general store seemed like a good idea. That was, if Oliver would let her back in.

Still, Felicity felt bad for not being able to tell him what was going on. It had more to do with her inability to sort through the feelings than it did talking about Oliver's harsh words. She'd always been able to share this kind of stuff with Diggle, but this time, the words had cut so deep she didn't know how to process them.

"Well, as long as you two are safe, that's all that matters." He seemed not to notice she was holding back. She breathed a sigh of relief.

"We're good," Felicity reassured him as she drove down Main Street and into the center of town.

"It's probably better for Oliver to stay out there a little while, until things settle down here."

"Why?" The admission caught Felicity off guard. But the sinking feeling at the pit of her stomach told her she already knew the answer.

"Mentioning the Queen family pisses a lot of people off."

"I can imagine…" It wasn't a stretch, though. After Moira's confession, Felicity could easily see the animosity people would have towards Oliver's family.

"You and Oliver stay safe, okay? I'll hold down the fort until you come back."

"Sounds good."

And with that, the phone call ended. Felicity looked around to find she'd stopped in front of the diner. Her stomach growled and she realized for the first time she was very hungry.


	3. Encroaching Darkness

_**3. Encroaching Darkness**_

Felicity parked her car in a spot right in front of the diner. Glancing in her rear view mirror, she noticed the ashen tone her skin had turned as the light faded into darkness. Her shoulder was an angry shade of black and violet, something she needed to cover so no one would notice or ask questions. The last thing she wanted was to be questioned about where she'd gotten her bruises.

It was out of pure protectiveness for Oliver that she'd thought about that at all. Even after he'd been so cruel to her, she still felt the need to keep his secrets, most of all where he was at this moment considering the conversation she'd just had with Diggle.

Laid out on the backseat of her car was the beige trench coat she kept in case of inclement weather. Her left shoulder protested wildly when she reached back to grab it then put it on. Even buttoning it seemed futile as the pain shot from her joint throughout the rest of her body. She threw her keys into one of the pockets then opened her glove box to find her phone charger. Plugging Oliver's phone into it, she let it sit in the cup holder hoping by the time she was done inside at least a quarter of the battery would be full. Then it was one last glance in the mirror to make sure she looked okay and she was headed inside.

Taking a moment to compose herself, Felicity let out a nervous breath and prayed no one would notice just how out of place she was in this little town. She exited her car and entered the diner. It was warm, a stark contrast from the bone chilling cold that had fallen now that night had come, and cozy with a long counter, booths decked out in chrome and red leather, and a juke box in the corner playing music from the 60's. The scent of French fries invaded her nose and immediately she began to salivate as her stomach growled audibly.

Felicity stepped up to the counter and took a seat. There was always a stash of cash inside the interior pocket of her coat, which she checked for good measure. No need to look like a fool right now, especially since she'd left her purse, wallet and cell phone back at the foundry. A shudder involuntarily ran through her body at the thought of that place. Images of the previous night wiggled their way to the forefront of her mind and it took all of Felicity's will power to push them back.

"What can I get you, darling?" the woman behind the counter strode up to her and asked. The black name tag on her pink bowling shirt read 'LIV'. She looked to be in her late 50's to early 60's with short brown hair styled in a bob that flared out at the bottom. Her warm smile and kind brown eyes eased some of the tension in Felicity's body, but she still didn't let down her guard.

"Can I get a cheeseburger and fries?" Felicity replied, keeping her head down and eyes barely peeking above the rim of her glasses.

"Sure, no problem. Anything else?"

Felicity thought for a moment. Her mind settled on Oliver. Yes, he'd been pretty awful to her that evening, but she couldn't help feeling sorry for him. Many of the things she'd said were well intentioned, but ill received by a man who was in more pain that she could possibly imagine. All she'd wanted was for him to see the good in himself, but thinking back on it now, Oliver needed time to process everything that had happened this past week.

Taking into account his mother's betrayal and the fact that it led to the death of his best friend wasn't something a person could get over in a day, let alone a week, especially one as fragile as Oliver. He'd already been through five years of hell on a desolate island. Coming back to find out the rug had been pulled out from under his feet was going to take a hell of a lot of time and probably some intense therapy.

Felicity sighed; she needed to apologize and food was always a good first step. "Can you make that two cheeseburgers with fries, to go please?" she asked the woman.

"Of course," "LIV" replied before turning towards the kitchen and giving the order to the cook. "They'll be out in a few minutes. You just sit tight. Would you like anything to drink while you wait?"

"Some water would be great," Felicity said. Within moments a tall glass of ice water was placed in front of her along with a straw. She nodded her thanks before gulping down almost half of it in one go. It had been quite some time since she'd had anything substantial to eat or drink. The half glass of water she'd had with the ibuprofen was only an afterthought.

"Slow down, sweetheart, you're gonna get a head rush if you drink like that," an older gentleman who'd been seated two seats down the counter startled Felicity. The need to bolt out of there became overwhelming, and all she could do to keep herself from flying out the door was put down the glass and blush profusely.

It hadn't been her intention to drink so much. She was only now beginning to understand how dehydrated and desperate for nourishment her body was. The smell of the burgers cooking was really making her head spin. Maybe she should order something for right now…?

"Habit," Felicity stammered before unwrapping the straw and sticking it in the cup in hopes of stemming her almost obscene need for hydration. Even with half the glass gone, her mouth felt dry.

Felicity glanced over at him. He appeared to be in his mid 50's with salt and pepper hair and eyes the color of the sea. A thick black leather jacket covered is upper body while stone washed blue jeans and black leather boots finished off the old biker dude appearance he seemed to have going on. Except he didn't look like a biker. He looked more like kind older gentleman in clothes he felt comfortable in.

"Where are my manners?" he said. "I'm Peter Isenberg, but everybody calls me Doc."

For some reason, he reminded her of Oliver when they first met. His kind eyes and smile eased her tension and she finally said, "Felicity."

"New in town or just vacationing?" Doc asked.

"Um…" Felicity's mind wasn't used to coming up with good cover stories on a whim. That's what Oliver was for, but she finally replied, "Vacationing."

"Definitely chose a fine week to come out here. The forecast's calling for rain the next few days." His jovial smile and remarks continued to ease the tension she felt being injured and all alone in an unfamiliar place. At least the feeling of wanting to bolt without grabbing her food was easing.

"I guess choosing a beach house wasn't the best idea." Felicity instantly bit her tongue realizing she'd said too much. Inwardly cursing herself for having no mental filter, she turned away and took another long gulp of water from her glass hoping he didn't pick up on her nervousness.

Even if he did, Doc didn't show it. "Well, the beach can be pretty gorgeous, even in a rainstorm," he said, "especially when there's lightning. You can see if coming for miles. It's quite the sight."

"I bet," Felicity replied. She was still too scared to look back at him, so she finished her water, but before she could even look up to find the waitress, "LIV" had already stopped by to refill her glass. She gave the older woman a grateful smile before taking another sip.

"So, which cottage you staying in?"

Felicity nearly choked on her water. It was a question she'd been hoping to avoid. She knew she had a responsibility to keep Oliver's location a secret. If anyone found out he was in Astoria, the possibility of repercussions skyrocketed. No, she had to keep him safe, just as she'd kept him safe so many months ago when he'd come to her, bleeding and near death practically begging her to help him. She vowed back then she'd do everything in her power to keep his secrets, and now, more than ever, she was being put to the test.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry," Doc quickly apologized.

"I would prefer not to say," Felicity replied with a weak smile. She breathed a sigh of relief seeing as the old man knew he was overstepping his bounds.

"That's alright." He held up his hand and bowed his head.

"Order up!" the cook in the back yelled. Felicity's head shot up. Behind the counter she could see the meals she'd ordered, all boxed up and bagged with plastic silverware and napkins.

"That'll be fifteen dollars, dear," "LIV" said as she placed it on the counter.

Felicity set down a twenty and said, "Keep the change," before taking one last large gulp of her water and grabbing the food. As she stepped off the seat she'd taken, her right leg gave. It had probably been from the way she'd sat, half her butt resting on the seat while the other half stood, that caused this problem. Although she recovered quickly, Felicity could feel all eyes were on her. The red flush returned to her cheeks as she tried to nervously laugh it off, but it was no use.

"You alright?" Doc asked. He was already off his chair and at her side. Jeez, the parallels between him and Oliver were strikingly similar and it was getting a little unnerving.

"I'm fine," Felicity responded as she straightened up and began limping her way to the door.

"You don't look okay," he observed. His searching eyes led her to believe he knew more than he let on. Felicity ground her teeth, trying to come up with an explanation.

"Foot fell asleep," she lied, shaking it out in an attempt to show him she was fine. But the pain caused her to flinch, something he was keen to notice.

Doc put a hand on Felicity's left shoulder to try and help her get her balance, but she cried out and pushed herself away from him. The entire diner was now looking at her in stunned silence and concern. Felicity could feel her heart thumping against her chest as she tried to quell the fear that was obvious on her face. In all likelihood, she probably looked like a deer caught in headlights as she glanced around wide eyed and panting.

"Whoa, hey, stay calm. I'm not gonna hurt you," Doc reassured her as he placed a gentle hand on her right forearm. Felicity's eyes shot to his finding genuine caring and concern staring back at her. "Take a couple deep breaths for me," he continued talking in a soothing voice.

Doing as she was told, Felicity took several deep breaths in and out as Doc led her to a more secluded area of the diner far away from the prying eyes of the other patrons who were still staring at her in pity and concern. "Here, sit," he said, pulling out a chair for her.

The feeling of being trapped overwhelmed Felicity as she took several ragged breaths before realizing she was far away from the rest of the people inside the diner. Doc had taken a seat in a chair beside her and had his fingers on the pulse point in her wrist. "Your heartbeat's still a little too fast for my liking, but it's coming down," he said.

Felicity just stared at him, wide eyed and slack jawed. The panic slowly subsided leaving her light headed and dazed. Her head throbbed as she put a shaking hand to her temple and rubbed it to relieve some of the pain. Glancing over at Doc, she could see the overwhelming concern he projected. There was something about the look in his eyes that told her she had nothing to be afraid of.

"Now, they don't call me Doc for nothing," he said. "I've been the town MD for nearly thirty years now. I know when something's ailing you. So, tell me, Felicity, what's got you hurting?"

"I'm… I'm fine… really," she stammered. "My friend already took care of everything."

There wasn't much else Felicity wanted to say. Her heart raced with fear that this older man, this doctor, was trying to help her when all she wanted to do was get back to Oliver. She knew she looked a little worse for wear at the moment with her hair in a tangled ponytail at the back of her head and her legs covered in dust. Then the sudden realization hit her. What if Doc thought she was being abused? This was the worst possible scenario she could have imagined.

"Can I at least take a look and see what kind of job he did?" Doc was being very gentle and patient with her, something Felicity hadn't expected.

Several long moments passed between them. Felicity contemplated her options. By the looks of it, Doc hadn't made any move to ask her about where she'd gotten her injuries so there was a strong chance he wasn't going to any time soon. She figured he was one of those people that wouldn't say a word unless it was absolutely necessary.

"If you're afraid of me saying something about it, I promise you, unless you give me a reason to worry, I won't." Doc seemed to know exactly what she'd been thinking. Again, he gave her a gentle smile and Felicity finally relented. She drew up her trench coat and showed him the wound along the right side of her leg.

"Well, at least he closed it up well, but I still think you should get stitches and a tetanus shot." The wide eyed terror she gazed at him with made him pause. "If not tonight, then tomorrow. I don't want that big of a wound going without treatment for too long. For all I know it might already have been too long. But seeing as you're grabbing dinner for two, I think its best you head off to your friend."

Felicity let out a relieved breath as she pulled the trench coat back down over her legs and started to stand. She was still shaky, but after a few moments, the tremors subsided and she began to make her way towards the door, her dinner tucked under her arm. He walked a few steps behind her making sure she didn't fall. Although it felt unnecessary, she was grateful nonetheless. Her legs still felt slightly wobbly.

"Please, if it gets any worse, don't hesitate to call me," Doc said as he pulled out a card from his coat pocket and handed it to her. "I'm here in town while the closest hospital is over thirty miles away."

Hesitantly, she took the card from him and slipped it into her pocket. "Thank you," Felicity barely whispered as she pushed the door open and a rush of cold air hit her face. Fumbling to find her keys in her coat pocket, she unlocked the door and got inside placing the bag with her dinner on the front seat. Doc remained at the diner door, watching her as she pulled out of the parking space, the concern present in his blue eyes.

With steady resolve, Felicity drove out of town and back into the forest towards the beach house. But something was off. She felt off. A sudden heavy feeling settled over her body. She felt tired and sluggish as she continued to drive in the darkness, the only light coming from her headlights and the indicators on her dash.

To combat the feeling, Felicity turned on the radio. Static shot through the speakers at first, startling her, so she scanned through the stations until she found one that was clear. It was a classical station playing one of her favorite songs, "Clair De Lune" by Claude Debussy. She hummed along to the tune, focusing on the crisp and soothing piano notes as they filtered through her speakers in an attempt to keep calm.

It didn't last though, as Oliver's phone began to ring in the cup holder. Felicity jumped and snatched it up to see who was calling. Thea's photo and number had popped up on the screen. She contemplated whether or not to answer, but chose to do so knowing she was probably frantically searching for her brother.

"Hello?" Felicity hesitantly said after she pressed the call button.

"Who is this?" The shaking in Thea's voice was evident. It sounded very much like she was trying to keep it together but failing when it wasn't her brother on the other end.

"It's Felicity. I'm a friend of Oliver's," she tried to soothe the teenager to the best of her ability.

"Where's Ollie? Why do you have his phone? Is he okay?" Thea's voice cracked in the midst of her rapid fire questions. Felicity could tell she was frantic.

"Yes, he's fine," she reassured the younger Queen. "He's back at the cottage resting." It was a half truth, but at least it wasn't a lie.

"The cottage? Wait, he's in Astoria?" She sounded a bit shocked, but not as surprised as Felicity was expecting. If anything she figured Thea was probably shocked more by the fact that she'd answered the phone.

Felicity found herself nodding before she replied, "Yes." She didn't fear Thea knowing their whereabouts. If anything, maybe it was best that she knew. At least it would ease her mind some. The poor girl had lost her father already, and now her mother was in jail.

"Tell him I'm on my way and I'll be there soon." And with that, Thea hung up before Felicity got a chance to say a word.

"Well, shit…" she muttered, throwing the phone onto the seat next to the boxed up burgers. Jeez, they were really starting to smell good now. Again, her stomach rumbled.

Felicity sighed. Maybe it was for the best that Thea came to stay with them. After Diggle's warning about the unrest in Starling City regarding the Queen family, she knew if Thea stayed, something could possibly happen to her.

'It's better this way,' Felicity thought to herself. She just needed to stay as tight lipped as possible, even though the young girl was pretty keen on things and had intelligence that rivaled her brother. 'Great, she's going to see right through me…'

Felicity's hands still shook so she held onto the steering wheel a little tighter. The entire night had her on edge, so when the trees gave way to the moonlit ocean and sandy beaches, relief flooded through her. The little white and grey house quickly approached to her right. She pulled into the driveway then turned off the car before placing Oliver's half charged phone into her pocket, and got out. In doing so, her vision dotted with black spots.

Felicity put her hand on the hood in an attempt to steady herself as she closed her eyes, waiting for the spots to disappear. Once they were gone, she staggered to the door and pulled out the house key she'd hung onto. Oliver was standing at the window when she stepped in looking out at the darkness across the ocean almost as if he hadn't moved since she left. But he'd changed into black sweats and had put on a grey t-shirt indicating that he had been upstairs.

"Oliver," Felicity said as he turned to gaze at her. She took a few more steps into the room before her vision began to tunnel. The light headed feeling returned as the sound of his voice became muddled. Had he said her name? She wasn't sure. She could barely hear a word he said before she lost her bearings and began to sway. Then, everything went black.


	4. A Helping Hand

_**4. A Helping Hand**_

Hushed whispers, a hand softly stroking her hair, the feel of a cool pillow beneath her head; those were the first things Felicity noticed when she regained consciousness. Soon after, other things came into focus. She was lying on her back with her head raised up. Something was pressed to her right leg where she should have felt pain, but there was none. Her eyes shot open.

"Hey," Oliver's soft voice above her nearly made Felicity jump. "Shh, stay still," he soothed as his hand stroked her hair again.

"Oliver… What happened…? What's… what's going on?" Felicity mumbled. She felt dazed, as if a fog had settled over her brain and had yet to dissipate. Her eyes darted all over the room but she couldn't focus. Her head still spun like a top. She closed her eyes again.

"You're okay," Oliver whispered. "You fainted. When was the last time you ate something?"

"Huh?" Felicity's eyes opened slightly. "Um… I don't know… Lunch maybe the day of the…" She couldn't bring herself to say the rest. Her mind brought up images of the destruction and devastation by just thinking about it. They left her feeling guilty and heartbroken.

"Doc says your blood sugar is really low which was probably why you passed out." Oliver's voice was the only thing tethering her to the present. If he hadn't been there, Felicity knew she'd lose herself to the memories. But his startling admission made her heart race as her eyes flew open. Diggle's warning shot to the forefront of her mind.

"What? Doc? He's here?"

"That's right." His voice startled her. She looked down to find Doc placing one final stitch along her leg wound. Unable to watch, Felicity's eyes found their way back to Oliver. She realized she was laying in his lap as she looked up at him. Her heart was racing as a million and one questions flooded her mind.

"Oliver…" The panic in her voice startled him as he gazed down at her, his brows knotting in worry. "Dig… he said…"

"Shh, I know. I already talk to him. He called the house while you were gone. Everything's okay. Doc is an old friend. We can trust him," Oliver reassured her as his fingers continued to caress her hair and her forehead. Felicity tried to sit up, but he quickly clamped a hand on her good shoulder. "Whoa, stay still. I don't want you ripping out the IV."

"What?" She looked down at her arms and sure enough, there was a needle sticking out the inside of her left elbow attached to a thin plastic tube that ran up to a bag Oliver held in his other hand just over his shoulder. "But… why?"

"You're dehydrated too."

"Jeez, what isn't wrong with me?" Felicity muttered before closing her eyes again as his hand came to rest against the top of her head. She was getting dizzy again. This was too much for her food deprived brain to handle at the moment.

"Well, your shoulder isn't dislocated and you don't have an infection," Doc answered. She glanced at him as he pulled off his latex gloves and dropped them into a trash can at his side.

Some time while she'd been unconscious, she figured Oliver must have found his number in her coat pocket and called him. He'd probably also given Doc a rundown of her injuries as well allowing him to assess them properly, unlike when she was at the diner refusing medical attention.

"You're all stitched and bandaged up," Doc said. "I gave you a tetanus shot while you were out along with some local anesthetic that should wear off in a few hours. Try to keep the wound as dry as possible, but you can still take a shower. Other than that, keep it clean with one part peroxide, one part water, and those stitches should be able to come out in two weeks."

Felicity nodded in understanding. For the first time in a really long time, she felt relieved. They had done a good job cleaning her wound, but her concern now turned to his injury. She gazed up at him, eyes soft with worry, and asked, "What about you?"

"What about me?" Oliver retorted. He was being intentionally evasive. She could see he wanted no medical attention outside his own, but after all that had happened, there was no way she'd allow it, especially since there was a possibility it was infected.

"Please, Oliver, just have him look at it," Felicity begged. She attempted to sit up again, mindful of the needle in her arm this time. With Doc's help, she placed her feet up on the coffee table and gazed over at Oliver, her eyes wrought with worry. "I don't know if I have the strength to keep patching you up right now," she whispered.

Her words hit home. She could see it in his eyes. Oliver nodded, and as Doc sat on the coffee table waiting, he pulled his t-shirt over his head then peeled off the bandage just above his heart while Felicity helped him with the one at his back.

"Jesus…" Doc hissed, the alarm clear in his voice. "How are you not dead?" Oliver and Felicity exchanged glances as he slipped on another pair of gloves.

"Luck?" Oliver snickered. Felicity glared at him.

She, too, was curious as to how he got that wound in such a precarious location, but whatever had caused it, Felicity knew it somehow missed every single vital organ and artery. Something told her that this wasn't luck. It looked as if Oliver might have done it himself judging by its placement. The thought sent a chill down her spine. 'Why would he do that to himself?' she wondered. Felicity made a point to find out once the doctor was gone.

"There is some slight discoloration around the edges, but it looks to be healing," Doc observed, knocking her out of her thoughts. "I don't think you need stitches, but this should help." He pulled a small box out of the brown leather bag at his feet and handed it to Oliver. Inside was a tube of ointment with directions on usage. "It's basically high powered Neosporin. Apply this with every bandage change and it should cut down healing time." He turned to Felicity and added, "Same goes for you, young lady."

"Yes, sir," she softly replied. He pulled one more thing out of his bag and handed it to her. It was a dark blue sling with white trim and straps for her arm.

"This should help ease some of your shoulder pain as well," Doc said. The strap clipped at the front allowing her arm to slip into it easily without having to lift her shoulder. Before he put it on her, Doc took the IV out of her arm. "Make sure you take the pain meds I've left for both of you so you're comfortable and keep icing your shoulder periodically. It should keep the swelling down and lessen your pain some more."

"Thank you," Felicity said, grateful for the relief she already felt now that both she and Oliver had been properly taken care of.

"You're welcome, both of you," Doc replied as he stood up, discarding his gloves into the trash can. With his bag in hand, he started to make his way towards the door. "You two take care of yourselves, and Oliver, please don't be a stranger. It's been nearly twenty years since I last saw you. Liv and I have sorely missed you and your family. You should come around more often and see us."

"I know, Doc. I'll try to come back again sometime soon. We'll be here for a while longer so maybe I'll stop at the diner and see Liv in the next couple of days," Oliver said as he shook the older man's hand.

"She'll appreciate it. She misses you. Hearing you were back in town, she wanted to come down with me to see you, but I told her this was business and that it was better for her to stay home," Doc explained as they made their way to the door. Oliver held it open for him as he exited. "Anyway, if you need anything or if your injuries get any worse, please don't hesitate to call me; I'm right down the road." And with that, Doc was out the door leaving Oliver and Felicity alone again in the small house.

Silence descended upon the living room as she stared down at her hands. Having had many of her questions answered about Doc and if he could be trusted, Felicity felt slightly relieved that this man had once been an important part of Oliver's life. Now that he was gone, it left the two of them in a precarious position.

Felicity was still uncertain about how to broach the subject of her fight with Oliver. She wanted to apologize for pushing him, but the timing didn't feel right, not after what had just happened. If anything she felt the need to apologize for putting him through hell first. Fainting had definitely not been on her to do list when she got back.

When a blanket fell over her shoulders, Felicity nearly jumped. She was beginning to notice this happened quite often now. Every little noise or sudden movement made her want to crawl out of her skin. The psychological effects of what had happened in the Glades were finally starting to show through the cracks of her psyche. It was a troubling prospect, one she didn't want to dwell on right now.

Oliver sat down beside her, his blue eyes falling on her profile as she continued to stare down at her hands. They were cold and trembled slightly. "I'm sorry," he murmured, his fingers brushing over hers, but she scooted away and slipped her hand around her waist.

"Don't be," Felicity quietly replied. "If anyone needs to be sorry, it's me." She still couldn't bring herself to look at him. The conflicting feelings that bounced around in her head made it hard for Felicity to focus. She had so many things to say, but nothing really wanted to come out of her mouth.

"Why?" Oliver asked.

"I didn't mean to scare you," she answered. "I had no idea I was that hungry."

"Are you hungry now?" The thought of food instantly made Felicity's stomach growl. She didn't have to answer; Oliver was already making his way to the kitchen. "I'll heat up those burgers you brought from the diner," he said.

"Wait, how did you know…?"

Oliver had his hand on the stainless steel refrigerator ready to pull it open before he turned and replied, "I knew you'd gotten that card I found in your coat somewhere. Doc told me he met you there and that you were ordering for two, so…" Felicity nodded before Oliver could finish his thought. There was another long, awkward silence that passed between them.

"Right, anyway…" Felicity felt the need to fill the space with something to keep her mind occupied. If the silence continued, she felt other less savory thoughts would fill her brain.

"Why don't you go upstairs and change into something else? I think there might be some clothes up there that'll fit you," Oliver suggested.

Felicity nodded. Gingerly setting her feet down on the hardwood floor, she began to stand up only to start feeling dizzy. She swayed before putting a hand on the armrest of the couch to keep from toppling over. Within that span of a few seconds Oliver was at her side again, his arm wrapping around her waist to steady her.

"Maybe you should eat first," he said as he held her against his side.

"No, I really need to get out of these clothes," Felicity replied. She was done being reminded of all the things that had happened over the past two days. It was about time she shed the final remnants of that fateful day.

With Oliver's help, they headed towards the staircase. Just thinking about the Glades made her head spin and she needed a distraction. Their guest provided the perfect out. "So… How well do you know Doc?" Felicity asked.

"He was our family physician for as long as I can remember. He'd seen me enough times to fill a three ring binder with the amount of trouble I'd get myself into on the beach and in the forest," Oliver candidly answered to her surprise. She wasn't expecting him to be so forthcoming with information about his past, but decided now would be a good time to see how far she could take this conversation.

"And you trust him?" she asked.

"Yes, just like I trust you and Dig. He and his wife, Liv, have always been good to my family. They wouldn't tell a soul we were here," he said.

Felicity nodded as they ascended the stairs. "Well, I trust you, so any friend of yours is a friend of mine," she replied with a half smile.

They had reached the master bedroom and Oliver eased her onto the bed before throwing open the doors to the walk in closet. He pulled out an oversized white t-shirt and a pair of navy board shorts from it. "Are these okay?" he asked, handing them to her.

"Yeah, they're fine," Felicity replied as she took them from his hand.

"I'll be right outside if you need me," Oliver said before he left the room so she could change in peace.

"What about…" Felicity's voice trailed off. She wasn't about to ask Oliver Queen to find her some underwear. He paused for a moment at the door and stared at her. "Never mind," she added, figuring she'd just go commando tonight. He left without another word. Tomorrow, after things had settled down a bit, she'd look for the unmentionables.

Slipping her arm out of the sling, Felicity set about trying to take the tattered dress off by herself. She only succeeded in touched the zipper with her right hand, but being unable to pull it down because it kept getting stuck in a wrinkle along her back. Her left hand was useless. Just moving it caused pain to shoot through her limb and straight through the rest of her body.

Frustrated that she couldn't do anything by herself, Felicity sat on the bed and took several deep breaths to calm down. She was about to do the last thing she wanted to do. "Oliver!" she called out. He was standing in front of her seconds later. As she gazed down at her lap in shame, Felicity mumbled, "Can you help me?"

"Yeah, sure," Oliver replied. She stood slowly and turned around, pulling her hair away from her neck when he reached for the zipper. As he dragged it down, her cheeks began to redden. Suddenly, this was really becoming a bad idea. These weren't the circumstances under which Felicity imagined Oliver taking her clothes off. The thought was immediately banished from her mind. This was not the time to be thinking those thoughts.

When the zipper reached the small of her back, his hands came up and began slipping the straps down her shoulders. Felicity quickly stepped away and said, "Whoa, there! I'm good. You can go now." Oliver had already done enough in five minutes to kick start her dreams for the next few years. Things didn't need to get any more awkward between them.

"Sorry," Oliver mumbled before he walked out of the room again. She could see the flush on his face as he ducked his head to hide his embarrassment. It almost matched hers in color and intensity. At least he felt some remorse for what he'd done. It made Felicity wonder just how many times he'd been in this position before: unzipping a woman's dress for reasons other than to help her due to injury. Again, it was a thought immediately pushed out of her mind.

Felicity carefully wiggled her way out of the dress. With Oliver having slipped the straps down off her shoulders, it made things a little easier for her and although it still felt awkward, she was grateful he'd done it. She kicked the dress to the side before taking off her simple white cotton bra and matching panties. The weight that seemed to lift off her shoulders once she got rid of her clothes felt immense. They had become a symbol of the worst tragedy she'd ever experienced. Now all that was left was to burn them.

Setting about the task of getting redressed, Felicity put the board shorts on first. She drew the string as tight as it would go around her tiny waist, but even then they were still loose on her. At least they didn't fall off her hips. The t-shirt would be a challenge, though. With her right hand, she managed to get one sleeve on and slipped it over her head to cover her body. Her left shoulder protested the moment she began to lift it into the other sleeve. Letting out a cry of frustration, she stopped only to find Oliver rushing in to help her again.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, his eyes filled with worry.

"I can't get my left arm into the sleeve," Felicity grumbled as she glared down at it.

"Let me help you," Oliver offered. She hesitated for a moment. They'd already been through one awkward encounter in these past few minutes. She didn't want another one. Somehow he'd managed to read her mind and added, "I promise I won't do anything unless you tell me to."

"Fine," Felicity relented. Her right arm dropped to the side while the left remained bent at her waist.

"Bend your arm up at the elbow and I'll pull the shirt down so you don't have to move it too much," Oliver said. Following his instructions, Felicity did as she was told and surprisingly, it worked without her being in too much pain.

"Well, I'll have to remember that for next time," she said as she slipped her arm back into the sling and clipped it into place. Felicity steadied herself against the wall intending to walk down the stairs on her own until Oliver's hand came around her waist. She looked up at him, their eyes locking for a few moments as several unspoken emotions passed between them. Felicity had to look away before she got too caught up in that gaze. The fear of uttering something stupid forced her to grab the railing in order to clear her mind.

Together they descended the stairs back to the living room. This time, silence fell between them. There were so many things running through Felicity's mind that she didn't know what to say first. She just knew now wasn't the time. When they reached the last step, a knock at the front door grabbed Oliver's attention.

"Stay here," he whispered, his body tense with anticipation as he quietly stalked towards the door.

"It's Thea," Felicity sighed, realizing she had completely forgotten to tell him that his sister would be joining them tonight.

The tension in Oliver's body unfurled as he turned back to Felicity and asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, I kind of passed out, so…" She stopped as Oliver pulled the door open. Thea stood there in a black hoodie and dirt covered blue jeans, her eyes overrun with tears and her face smudged with dust.

"Ollie?" she whimpered before throwing her backpack to the floor and launching herself into her brother's arms.

From the bottom of the staircase Felicity watched the tender moment unfold. Oliver wrapped his arms around his sister, bringing her in for a tight hug that lasted well over a minute as she cried softly against his chest. "Oh, thank God. I was so scared something happened to you," Thea wept before pulling away. She surveyed him for a moment and noticed the bandage just over his heart. "Oh, god, something did happen to you!" she cried.

"Thea, I'm fine," Oliver reassured her in the calmest voice Felicity had ever heard from him. "It doesn't even hurt anymore."

"What happened, Ollie? Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you. It's like after I called to tell you about Mom's press conference you dropped off the face of the earth. Do you have any idea how scared I was? Dad's dead, Mom's in prison, Walter's gone, and Roy… I don't even know where he is! You're all I had left and I couldn't find you!" Thea was practically yelling now as she glared up at her brother with angry blue eyes. Tears spilled down her cheeks as her emotions ranged from relieved to confused to angry in the span of a few seconds.

"I'm sorry." Oliver remained amazingly calm throughout her outburst, almost as if he'd been through more than his fair share of them in the past. He placed his hands on her shoulders and held her back for a few moments.

"And why didn't you answer your phone? I had to find out from your girlfriend where you were!"

Felicity cleared her throat. Two sets of eyes fell on her. "I'm not his girlfriend," she corrected. "We're just friends." She watched something flash in Oliver's eyes, but it disappeared as soon as he realized she was staring at him. Was it hurt? Felicity couldn't tell. All she could see now was the mask he so easily fit into place when his emotions got the best of him. She continued, "And I only answered his phone because it was in the cup holder of my car. I didn't realize he'd forgotten it there until you called as I was on my way back with dinner, which you are more than welcome to share with us."

"Dinner, huh?" Thea replied. "Blondie's got a point. I'm starving. What's for dinner?"

"Cold burgers," Oliver said as he made his way into the kitchen.

"Yummy!" Felicity could almost hear the brunette roll her eyes as she followed her brother.

Oliver turned to face her, his steady gaze taking in her dirty features. "Why don't you go upstairs and clean up?" he replied. "You look like crap, Speedy."

Felicity watched her bristle at the nickname and smiled. Although they'd only met once, she had a feeling Thea was an interesting character and they'd probably get along, if she could get past the fact that Oliver had brought her here.


	5. Reconnection

**_5. Reconnection_**

Thea grabbed her backpack off the floor and bounded past Felicity where she stood beside the staircase. She eyed the blonde for a moment before heading upstairs, her blue eyes regarding her with a look of interest and intent. It looked like the ones Oliver would give her every so often when she uncovered something about one of his targets. But Felicity stood her ground until the younger woman made her way up the stairs and disappeared out of sight.

Hearing the water begin running above them, Oliver had crossed the distance and now stood beside her. His eyes were a storm of emotions Felicity couldn't decipher, but when he spoke, she knew he was angry. "Why did you tell her we were here?" he hissed.

"You talked to Dig! It's not safe for either one of you in Starling City right now!" Felicity shot back, hoping to get her point across without having to shout at him.

"What are we supposed to tell her about us?" Oliver questioned.

"Like I said earlier, we're just friends," Felicity finitely answered as she pushed herself off the railing and began to make her way towards the kitchen.

Oliver wrapped his arm around her waist, keeping her steady as she hobbled across the hardwood floor. "Thea's not going to accept that as an answer," he said.

"Well, she'd better, because that's all we are," Felicity firmly replied as she glared up at him.

There went that flash again and this time she could see it clear as day. It pained him when Felicity said they were just friends. What else could they be? It's not like they could even remotely be considered lovers, let alone boyfriend and girlfriend. Whatever was going on in Oliver's mind, it definitely struck her as odd, but right now wasn't the time to be focusing on that. They had a dilemma on their hands.

"We still need a cover story about how we got here and why," Oliver pointed out as he led Felicity to a chair and eased her into it. He took a seat beside her facing the staircase to watch for Thea.

"How is pretty easy, but why is all on you." Felicity sat back in her chair and crossed her good arm over her waist as she waited for Oliver to come up with a plan. He sat in quiet contemplation for the next few minutes, his eyes distant and looking well past her out into the moonlit night sky.

Felicity's mind began to wander as her eyes roamed over his features. Oliver still hadn't put on a shirt since Doc left, making him just as distracting as he always was at the foundry. The foundry… Her pulse began to quicken just thinking about that place and the events of the past few days. Immediately, Felicity's breathing became a little shallower as the darkness enveloped her mind. The fear she'd been trying to combat was quickly overtaking her.

It wasn't until a hand fell on her shoulder that Felicity was finally knocked back into the present. Her head whipped in Oliver's direction to find him staring at her, the worry having returned to his pale blue eyes. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, fine," she quickly nodded before sitting up again. "Come up with a cover story yet?"

"We were at the club. You were securing the network and I was there, because, well, it's my club. I wanted to make sure you got out safe, but before you could finish, the earthquake began and we got stuck inside." Felicity couldn't focus much longer. The earthquake, getting stuck in the basement of Verdant, feeling trapped, helpless and alone… Her hands began to tremble. She squeezed them into fists and forced herself to listen to Oliver as he spoke. "…attacked us, which was how I got stabbed and you ended up with a separated shoulder and stitches."

"Sounds plausible," Felicity nodded, still trying to shake the feelings that were brewing inside her.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

She knew Oliver was very keen on reading people, and right now she felt like an open book. Closing her eyes, Felicity took in a deep, cleansing breath before slowly letting it out. "I'm fine," she slowly replied.

"You're not fine," Oliver stated.

"Yeah, well, neither are you, but you're content keeping it to yourself, so why don't we just avoid the whole issue like we've been avoiding it for the past few hours and not bring it up anymore. Okay?" Felicity snapped. For once she wasn't sorry for her outburst, nor was she embarrassed by it. If anything, she felt proud of being about to say what had been on her mind for so long.

Chancing a quick glance at Oliver, she could see the way his mouth hung open in shock at her words. "That stung, didn't it? Suddenly it's not fun getting a taste of your own medicine," she spat, her eyes narrowing. There was no mistaking the pain Felicity found in them, as well as the sadness and regret. She wouldn't let it get to her, though. She couldn't. The whole point of the outburst was to get Oliver to see he'd hurt her. If Felicity relented and gave in, it would have all been for nothing.

"Aw, you waited for me! That's so sweet," Thea said as she stepped down the stairs wearing an oversized pastel pink tank top with a black sports bra showing beneath and a pair of black yoga pants. She was quick to pick up on the tension in the room as Felicity's gaze immediately fell on her. "Ooh, lover's quarrel?" Thea teased as she flopped down in a chair across from Felicity.

Her eyes narrowed at the younger woman as Oliver excused himself from the table and headed into the kitchen leaving Felicity to fend for herself. "We're just friend," she replied through gritted teeth.

"Sure doesn't seem like it from where I'm sitting," Thea shot back with a smug smile.

"How about you leave our guest alone for a little while? She's had a really bad couple of days," Oliver was quick to interject. Felicity had a feeling he didn't want to deal with this line of questioning either.

But it seemed as if Thea was a dog with a bone. She wasn't giving up that easily. "Haven't we all?" she replied. Her voice dripped with sarcasm as she said, "My boyfriend is missing, my mother is in jail and I couldn't find my brother for nearly two days. I would say I've had a really bad couple of days myself." She narrowed her eyes at Oliver as he crossed his arms over his chest and stared back at her stoically from his perch against the kitchen counter as the microwave reheated their food.

"I'm sorry," Felicity said from across the table. It was about time she inserted herself into this conversation because if she didn't, she'd get dragged into it by force. At least now she had some control over what was being said to and about her.

"I like her, Ollie." There was still an undercurrent of sarcasm in Thea's voice as turned to Felicity and added, "So, what's your deal with my brother? Are you two friends with benefits or…"

"Thea!" It was the first time Felicity had heard Oliver raise his voice to her.

"Ooh, I hit a nerve! I guess you are!"

"We are most definitely not," Felicity scoffed matter-of-factly as she looked directly at the younger woman. Thea narrowed her eyes. "Just simple, run of the mill friends. Nothing else." She could understand the younger woman's skepticism. Thea still didn't know the real Oliver, the man who'd come back from the island a completely different person from the brother she once knew.

"My brother doesn't have girls who are just friends. They're either girlfriends or chicks he's sleeping with."

"I'm standing right here!" Oliver reminded her. They both glanced at him. Felicity couldn't help the wry grin that suddenly appeared on her face. He was beet red and giving his sister the death glare he reserved for those times when he was super angry at someone. "Felicity and I are just friends!" he yelled, trying very hard to emphasize the point, but falling short to his sister's cynicism.

"Then why did you bring her here?" Thea shot back.

"Because she was injured and bleeding!" Oliver was doing his best to defend his actions, but his sister was just as stubborn as he was.

"Why didn't you just take her to the hospital?"

"Because all the hospitals in the area were full."

"So you figured bringing her out here to the middle of nowhere was a good idea?" Thea rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Sometimes I wish I could believe your bull shit, Brother, but this time, it really does just sound like complete and total crap."

"Doc patched me up, actually," Felicity finally spoke up. She was getting tired of all the accusations flying around. It was time she stood up for herself. They both looked at her. "Separated shoulder and… How many stitches down my leg was it, Oliver?"

"Seven."

"Yes, seven stitches along my right leg. It was no picnic, especially since I fainted beforehand because I was dehydrated and my blood sugar was low. So I really hope that answers your questions because I'm starving and I just want to eat in peace." Felicity had reached the point where she was fed up with the conversation and just wanted it to end. Judging by the dumbfounded look on Thea's face, it had worked. Felicity tried her best to look angry, but she was too exhausted and hungry to manage. Thankfully the microwave signaled the food had been warmed up, refocusing her attention elsewhere.

Felicity gave Oliver a grateful smile as he set down a plate with her burger in front of her. The loud growl from her stomach as the scent wafted to her nose caught everyone off guard. Oliver chuckled as he set down his plate along with a knife before heading to the couch and retrieving his shirt.

"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said you were hungry," Thea replied.

"Would you like some of my burger?" Felicity politely asked as she went to reach for the knife.

"No, you eat it. I'll just steal some of Ollie's," the brunette said. She made a quick grab for the knife before Felicity even got near it and began to cut into her brother's dinner.

"Thea!" Oliver grumbled as he took his seat between the two women and noticed his sister taking the lion's share of his food.

"What? I'm hungry too!" she shot back, taking a bite before he could grab it back.

Felicity couldn't help but smile at their friendly rivalry. The mood at the table had changed drastically now that she'd put her foot down regarding her relationship with Oliver. Thea's interest had shifted to dinner, but Felicity knew there would be more questions. She was ready, though.

"I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot," Thea murmured as she glanced up at Felicity.

"It's alright. I would be skeptical too if my brother brought some girl to his cottage after a disaster, but I don't have a brother so I wouldn't know what it's like. I don't have a sister either so… I'm just gonna stop right now because I've already said too much and my burger is getting cold…"

"You have a penchant for rambling, don't you?"

"Just a little," Felicity admitted, keeping her head down when she noticed the grin on Oliver's face.

"A little?" he snorted. "More like all the time. And some of the things that come out of her mouth would make a sailor blush."

Felicity shot him the dirtiest look she could muster in her weakened state, which wasn't much of a look. If anything, it had the opposite effect. Oliver's grin widened as Thea giggled beside him. "You're such an ass," Felicity muttered under her breath, taking another bite of her burger to try and hide the blush that was beginning to spread over her cheeks.

"Oh, my god, is she…?" Thea leaned over the table to get a better look at her. "She is! She's blushing! Oh, Ollie, she's too cute! Can we keep her? Please? Pretty please?" Although the brunette was making light of the situation, Felicity wasn't happy with the sudden turn of events.

"When did I become a puppy?" she shot back, irritated that somehow the two of them had managed to gang up on her. It was starting to feel like high school all over again, only this time the cliques were much smaller and she had no friends or teachers to turn to. Felicity pouted and threw her burger back onto her plate then slowly began to rise from the table.

"Oh, come on, Felicity," Oliver gently grabbed her hand and pulled her back into her seat. "We're just teasing you."

"It's not fair! I'm practically crippled and I have no way to defend myself!" she glowered, wrapping her good arm around her waist and keeping her head down.

Oliver's eyes suddenly turned serious as he gazed at her. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

"So, speaking of being practically crippled, what fresh hell did Ollie drag you through?" Thea asked. "You look like you went toe to toe with a UFC fighter."

Felicity glanced over at Oliver and immediately wished she'd listened to him a little more closely when he'd told her about the plan. "Well, we were at the club," she started. "I was securing the network for him, you know, in case anything happened."

"What exactly do you do for my brother?" Thea cut in.

"I'm his IT specialist."

"So you're like a computer genius?"

"Something like that." Felicity gave her a weak smile. If only Thea knew the true extent of her hacking these past few months. Calling her a computer genius would almost be insulting.

A long pause lingered between them as Felicity tried to gather her thoughts. It was hard when Oliver Queen's baby sister was staring at her expectantly, waiting for an answer to her original question. Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, Felicity said, "Anyway, so we were at the club and I was securing the network. We thought we had more time, but then…"

Her voice trailed off as her fears crept back in. She wasn't ready to talk about this. It was too much, too soon. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths, but nothing worked to calm her. Felicity stood from the table. "Excuse me," she said. On shaky legs, she hobbled to the couch and lowered herself into it. She needed to get away from them for a moment and compose herself.

But Felicity felt numb. Her mind was stuck on a constant loop of past evening's events, replaying her fears over and over again until it was all she thought about. The tremors began soon after. Her entire body shook with the weight of the terror she'd witnessed and contributed to. Part of this was her fault. The what if's had returned and all she wondered was what she could have done differently to stop this all from happening.

When she looked up, Oliver was sitting across from her on the coffee table. His fingers wrapped around her shaking hand, gently squeezing it. "You're okay," he whispered, his hand coming to rest on her good shoulder. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes when she saw the genuine concern written all over his face. She wanted to reach out and wrap her arms around him, find the comfort she so desperately needed at that moment, but with Thea watching from the kitchen, Felicity just nodded before sitting back and rubbing a hand over her face.

"Today's been a rough day," Oliver said. "Why don't you get some rest?"

"Okay," Felicity whispered. Unclipping the sling from her arm, she gently eased it off and threw it to the coffee table with her good hand then took off her glasses and handed them to him so he could put them beside it. She stretched out along the soft cream fabric, her head falling against the pillow she'd laid on earlier that night. It wasn't easy to find a comfortable position with aches and pains on both sides of her body, but laying flat on her back proved to be the only way to quell the throbbing.

Oliver was kind enough to throw a blanket over her before Felicity snuggled in for the night. A heavy sigh escaped her lungs as she closed her eyes, but no matter how hard she tried, sleep wouldn't come. That pain of her injuries mingled with the overbearing fear she'd just experienced to create an environment that wasn't conducive to falling asleep. Her head tossed and turned from side to side, but quickly gave up.

Cracking an eye open, she found Oliver and Thea still sitting at the table quietly talking. She couldn't make out much of what they were saying, but it did sound like they were talking about her.

"Ollie, I know this girl means more to you than you're willing to admit, so please just cut the crap tonight and be straight with me," Thea was begging.

Oliver's deep sigh quickly drew Felicity's attention. "She is important to me. I care about her. But, lately, I've been a real dick to her," he replied. "I said some awful things this evening and I'm pretty sure she's still mad at me about that."

"Don't keep being a dick then," Thea surmised. "Apologize to her. Let her know you care. Because I can see that you do. You just need to get your head out of your ass and realize it."

Felicity was suddenly overjoyed that Thea had come to stay when she had. If this was what it took for Oliver to quit being so hard on himself, Felicity was more than happy to deal with their teasing.

"I know," he said. "I just… I don't know… I… I feel like I've already fucked things up beyond repair with her."

"You don't know that unless you talk to her. So, Oliver, tomorrow morning, I'm going to go into town and buy a crap ton of groceries while you and Felicity kiss and make up."

"Thea…" The warning was clear in Oliver's voice.

"I know, you're just friends. Do whatever you want, but make sure you apologize for being a gigantic asshat first."

"I will." Chairs were pushed out and Felicity quickly closed her eyes again, trying once more to find a comfortable position that wouldn't aggravate her injuries, but it was no use. Groaning in pain caught Oliver's attention and he was by her side in moments, asking, "Are you okay?"

Felicity slowly opened her eyes to find him hovering just above her head. "Everything hurts," she finally said. Oliver was gone in a flash, but she heard the opening of a cabinet followed by the kitchen sink being turned on. He was back at her side moments later with a glass of water in one hand and an orange bottle of pills in the other.

"Here," Oliver replied, handing her the water before unscrewing the white cap from the bottle. He shook a single large white pill into his hand. "Doc said these would help with the pain." Passing it into her palm, he waited as she downed it with the water and took the now empty glass from her fingers. "It's Vicodin so you should sleep well tonight."

"Good," Felicity murmured. She closed her eyes once more and heard movement again.

"You take the guest bedroom upstairs," she heard Oliver whisper. "I'll stay down here to make sure she's okay."

"Alright," Thea whispered back. "Good night."

"Good night."

Not even five minutes later, the Vicodin kicked in allowing Felicity to fall into a deep slumber.


	6. Chasing Demons

**_Chapter 6: Chasing Demons_**

The city burned all around her. Everything was ablaze. People screamed in the distance. All she could see around her was death and destruction, that which she had caused. The guilt consumed her, wouldn't let her go. She stood in place, her feet unmoving as the world continued to shake and fall down.

Something exploded to her left, forcing her to run on wobbly legs that did not feel like her own. She ran for what seemed like hours until she tripped on something and fell to her knees. Glancing back, her eyes went wide with shock and horror.

He was sprawled out on the ground, his body a mangled mess of torn muscles and broken bones. She crawled to him, tears stinging her eyes as she surveyed the damage. Blood seeped from a gash along his temple. "Felicity," he groaned, attempting to reach out to her, but his body was too weak and in too much pain from his injuries.

"Oliver," she choked, her hand gently stroking his cheek, smearing the blood that had pooled there. Their eyes locked. He was fading fast. Each breath took more and more effort. "Please, Oliver," she begged, the tears freely flowing from her eyes.

"Help me… Felicity," he sputtered. "Help… me…" They were his last words before the fading light in his pale blue eyes went out completely.

"Oliver?" No, he couldn't be… "Oliver! Oliver, please don't leave me!" she cried out, cradling his face in her hands.

"Oliver!" she screamed as she jolted up from the couch. Her heart was racing so fast it felt as if it would beat right out of her chest. An arm wrapped around her and she found herself being pulled into the warmth of an embrace.

Felicity blinked several times trying to comprehend what was going on. Where was she? What was she doing here? This wasn't the foundry or the Glades or her apartment for that matter.

"Shh… I'm right here," Oliver whispered into her ear. Felicity whipped her head around to find him staring back at her, those intense blue eyes overflowing with concern. "It's okay, I'm here." She tried throwing her arms around him, but the left one protested so she settled for a single handed hug as she buried her face in the soft cotton of his grey hoodie.

The tears came in a rush when Felicity realized he wasn't dead. Her arm tightened around Oliver's neck as his hands stroked up and down her back. "You're okay," he whispered into her ear. "It was just a bad dream."

Huffing out a few more shaky breaths, she pulled away and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Felicity could still feel his fingers on the small of her back, stroking gentle circles into the taught muscles until she relaxed. When her breathing evened out, she took stock of what had happened. Even though the dream was still fresh in her mind, she tried her best to push it into the recesses in order for the fear to subside. With Oliver beside her, his hand on her back, it made it much easier.

"I'm sorry if I woke you," Felicity apologized, swiping a hand across her sweat drenched forehead.

"You didn't wake me," Oliver replied with a soft smile. "You might have woken Thea, but I think she just rolled over and went back to sleep," he jested.

"What time is it?"

"A little after six."

Felicity nodded. "Can I have some water?" she asked. Her mouth felt dry and her throat was slightly sore.

Oliver was on his feet in seconds, striding into the kitchen to fetch her a glass. That's when she realized he hadn't slept on the sofa, but had been asleep on the floor beside the couch the entire night. A blanket was spread out on the hardwood with a pillow on top of it. As Felicity began to wonder why, he was beside her again, handing her the water she'd requested.

"Thank you."

Oliver simply nodded as he took a seat at her feet, laying them across his lap as she gulped down the cold liquid with vigor. Placing the glass on the coffee table, she looked at him as silence enveloped the room.

"Are you okay?" Oliver finally asked. "Because you seemed to be having a really intense nightmare."

"What makes you say that?" Felicity could only hope that what she'd said in her dream didn't translate into the real world, especially if he'd been lying on the floor beside her the entire time. For one mortifying moment, her heart stopped and waited for his answer.

"You were tossing and turning for almost an hour," he said, easing her troubled mind a bit.

"Oh…" she sighed. There was a long pause that carried on for several moments as she stared down at a frayed edge of the blanket. It was a green and gold tartan pattern with green satin edging.

"I had my first nightmare the day I came home from the island." Felicity's head shot up and locked eyes with his. Oliver continued, "It was… scary. I almost killed my mother when she and Walter came to check on me."

Felicity's mouth hung open as she stared at him, wide eyed with shock. Oliver was actually opening up to her again. Then she remembered the conversation she'd overheard the night before and suddenly things became so much clearer. But it didn't mean she was going to tell him what her nightmare was about. It still scared her to imagine him dying in her arms.

"I still have them," Oliver kept going when she remained silent. His hands fell to her right foot, one at her ankle, the other along the arch. They worked in tandem, massaging her muscles as she eyed him. From the looks of it, he didn't seem to realize he was doing it. His gaze was straight on her, blue eyes soft and telling.

"What are they about?" Felicity hesitantly asked as she propped herself up slightly on right arm.

"Mostly flashbacks of the island," he answered. His hands moved to her other foot. They continued their gentle ministrations, rubbing circles into the tense arches.

Felicity let out a small, nearly inaudible moan when he reached a particularly sensitive spot near the center of the ball. Oliver's fingers instantly froze as he gazed at her, and she knew he'd heard it. Her heart raced, her mind trying to figure out what to say.

"You… don't have to do this," Felicity croaked when he didn't pull away.

Oliver gave her a slightly confused look. "Rub your feet?"

"No, tell me about your nightmares," she clarified.

"But I… I want to." His voice was soft and earnest. As she gazed into his eyes, she could see he really did want to share it with her.

But for her own sake Felicity needed to know his reasons behind it. Most likely, his conversation with Thea had brought about his need to confess certain things, but that's not what she wanted to hear. "Why?" Felicity asked.

"Because I know I said some things yesterday that were out of line and I never meant to hurt you."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Oliver, you told me to leave." The words came out a little more harshly than Felicity had intended, but she wasn't sorry for saying them. Oliver needed to know his actions hurt as well.

"I know, and I'm sorry," Oliver murmured as his eyes fell to his lap. He truly looked apologetic, but a part of her couldn't accept it. Not until he realized why he had gotten so angry in the first place, why he'd sent her away.

Felicity sighed. "That's not what hurt me," she admitted.

His eyes shot up to meet hers. "Then tell me what I did to hurt you," Oliver begged. "I want to know so I don't do it again."

"I don't think that'll do you any good because I know what type of person you are and no matter how many times I tell you, you won't believe me."

"The whole hero thing, right?" Oliver immediately straightened up and took a defensive stance, his eyes narrowing on her.

Felicity knew what was going to happen, so she did her best to try and diffuse the situation. "Oliver, please, I don't want to do this right now," she begged. "We're both in highly emotional states. I don't want us to regret anything we say to each other. So in the interest of keeping our friendship intact, I think its best that we dealt with this later." Her voice remained calm and neutral as she pulled her legs out of his lap and sat up.

Slowly, Felicity stood and tested her feet to make sure they wouldn't wobble as she walked. Taking a few paces from the couch, she found herself to be slightly more balanced that morning. She sighed and looked out at the ocean through the open windows. It was dark and grey with a storm brewing just off the coast.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," Felicity said as she turned and made her way to the stairs. Oliver didn't get up to follow her, but she could feel his eyes on her back.

Ascending into the master bedroom, she made her way to the closet. There was nothing more she wanted this morning than a shower and to find some underwear because going commando was out of the question. That was something she only did in the confines of her apartment. Being around both Queen siblings meant taking a little more pride in her appearance.

As she opened the door, Felicity glanced around looking to see what she could find. Towards the back of the closet, she spotted a pair of smaller black sweatpants and a white tank top she thought would fit her. Against the back wall stood a white dresser beneath a rack of shirts which she began to open to see what was inside.

The first drawer yielded nothing but fluffy oversized white towels. She grabbed one and threw it onto the bed with the clothes. The second drawer held stacks upon stacks of socks and pantyhose. It wasn't until the third drawer that Felicity finally hit the jackpot. Neatly folded underwear and bras filled the drawer in all colors and styles. She grabbed a simple white set and left the closet.

Satisfied with her take, Felicity glanced around the room to see where the bathroom was. A door to the left of the bed led her into the cream marble floored room. There was a claw-foot tub and standing shower to the left and the toilet and sink to the right. The tiling around the shower and tub matched the floor while the rest of the room was painted a creamy white.

Felicity turned on the water in the shower and as she waited for it to warm up, she stripped off the previous night's clothes. She easily shimmied out of the shorts, but the shirt was still a little more painful to get out of. Wiggling her right arm out first, she slipped the shirt over her head then down her left shoulder. With the clothes in a pile on the floor at the foot of the sink, she peeled off the bandage along her right leg and examined the stitches.

The row of seven neat knots and loops made her wince just looking at it, but Doc had done a good job. There would be a scar, but had she not been stitched up, it would have probably looked much worse than it was. Felicity sighed as she opened the shower door and tested the water with her hand. It was at just the right temperature so she stepped inside.

The near scalding water felt like heaven against her skin. It had been over two days since her last shower and Felicity couldn't wait to wash away the past few days worth of blood, sweat and grime as she let it rain down over her body. Very few things compared to the feeling of a hot shower after so much grief and misery. It cleansed the soul, rejuvenated the mind and brought the body back from the brink. But her decisions these past thirty-six hours still weighed heavily on her conscience, as did the after effects of the devastation and destruction she'd witnessed.

A loud crack of thunder shook the house and suddenly Felicity found herself back at the foundry reliving the earthquake in vivid detail. Her mind brought forth images of the ground shaking, dust falling from the ceiling and sparks flying as electrical lines were severed. The lights flickered as another loud crack of thunder shook the house again, and she found herself pressed to the corner of the shower, her body cowering in fear as she curled up in a little ball.

Tears streamed down Felicity's cheeks as her sobs echoed against the cold tile walls. Her breaths came in short gasps as she tried to push back the images, but nothing worked. Fear overtook her as she began to shudder with more gut wrenching sobs. Her world felt like it was crumbling around her and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

The shower door flew open as a hand reached in to shut off the water. Felicity's forehead remained pressed to her knees as she heard her name being called. She was too scared to move. It wasn't until she felt a towel being draped over her that she finally looked up to see Oliver kneeling down, his eyes filled with worry as he wrapped it around her shaking body.

Their eyes met. Felicity saw the fear that laced his worry, felt it as he scooped her up in his tense arms and carried her to the bed. Closing her eyes, her head dropped beneath his chin as she sniffled and a few more tears slid down her cheeks. She was soon being lowered into bed and wrapped more tightly in the towel before the blanket was tucked around her.

Watching Oliver disappear from sight when she opened her eyes, Felicity thought for a moment he was going to leave. The racing thump of her heart increased, causing her shaking to turn into full on convulsions, but soon the bed dipped with his weight. Strong arms wrapped around her waist from behind and pulled her into the warmth and security of his embrace.

"It's okay," Oliver whispered in her ear as she turned to face him. His hand came up to stroke her face. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." Felicity buried her face in the crook of his elbow as her sobs filled the room.

"Is she okay?" Thea asked, her voice timid and unsure as she padded into the room.

A flash of lightning and a loud crack of thunder made Felicity nearly jump. She cried out and squeezed her eyes shut as Oliver held onto her a little tighter. "Shut the curtains and turn on the lights," he barked at Thea. In moments, the room was closed off from the outside world, the warm glow of the incandescent lamps casting faded shadows across the room.

"You're okay," Oliver whispered into Felicity's ear as he placed a soft kiss against her temple.

"Don't leave me," she begged. Whatever had happened that morning became irrelevant at that moment. The only thing Felicity wanted was to not be alone. She feared the darkness more when she was by herself. Having someone there was comforting and helped ease some of the blackness that had begun seeping into her soul.

"That's not happening anytime soon," he reassured her. Oliver turned to Thea and said, "I need you to go downstairs. My phone is on the kitchen counter. There's a card under it for Dr. Peter Isenberg. Call him and tell him who you are and that something's wrong with Felicity."

"Okay," Thea nodded as she ran downstairs.

They were alone again. Felicity continued shaking to the point where her teeth chattered. This was a fear she had never known before. It consumed her down to the very depths of her soul until she was no longer able to function. The only thing keeping her head above the proverbial water was the warmth of Oliver's body pressed against hers. His hand curled in her wet hair, his lips pressed to her skin, his arm wrapped tightly around her waist; they all came together in a way that helped her find her way out of the dark recesses of her mind.

Shifting so she lay on her right side, Felicity ignored the dull pain coming from her leg as she curled herself against Oliver's chest. He pulled her closer, careful not to put weight on her left shoulder as he completely enveloped her in his arms. The warmth of his hand against the bare skin of her back pulled her further away from the darkness, but her body still trembled.

"Oliver," Felicity whimpered as she buried her face in the soft fabric of his hoodie. "I'm scared."

She felt him sink his fingers in her hair as he placed a kiss on top of her head. "You're safe," Oliver murmured. Felicity let out a deep, shuddering breath as she closed her eyes. She felt safe in his arms. It was the only place she wanted to be right now. Just knowing he was there, alive and well, gave her something to hold on to.

The night of the quake, Felicity realized that her fear of losing Oliver was one of the few things that had the potential to turn her world upside down. Factoring in the dream she'd just had about him dying in her arms, everything began to spiral out of control. Fear had a vice-like grip on her mind and the only thing that kept her from completely succumbing to it was knowing he was there and that he wasn't going anywhere.

"How do you do it?" Felicity whispered, her fingers desperately clinging to his hoodie as if it was her anchor.

"Do what?" Oliver asked.

"Not let the fear consume you."

He was silent for quite a while, his fingers stroking her back in the most comforting way that for a moment Felicity forgot she'd even asked a question. "I don't know," Oliver quietly replied. She looked up at him, expecting to see the stoic look he always seemed to have when talking about anything that involved emotion, but his eyes betrayed him. He was genuinely at a loss. She could see confusion mixed with pain and maybe even a little understanding.

Felicity reached up to stroke his face and immediately regretted it as her shoulder protested in pain. Her hand settled for stroking his upper arm instead as he gazed down at her. "What are you so afraid of?" Oliver asked. His hand untangled from her hair and stroked down her cheek, wiping away the remaining tears from beneath her eyes.

For several long moments, Felicity lay silent. The war being waged in her head was one between the voice that told her she should confide in him because he would understand and the voice that told her she shouldn't because he refused to confide in her. "I don't wanna talk about it," she finally answered.

"Okay," he didn't press her at first, but Oliver's heavy sigh told her he wanted to. "Is it about what happened last night?"

Felicity knew he was going to crack. He never had much in the self control department, only showing restraint when need be. She couldn't fault Oliver for wanting to know. He was, after all, wrapped around her like a safety blanket as she tried not to completely lose herself to the darkness that had been following her ever since they left Starling City.

Shaking her head, Felicity relaxed her hold on his shirt.

"Is it about the Glades?" Oliver asked.

She froze instantly, her breath catching in her throat as her fingers once again bunched up the soft cotton fabric. Just mentioning the Glades made her heart rate skyrocket as the fear she was only just managing to keep at bay broke through the thin walls of her resolve and began to consume her again. Felicity could feel Oliver's hold tighten around her waist, pulling her against his chest until they were flush with each other.

"I knew I should have sent you home," he said, the strain evident in his voice as his fingers tangled into her hair again.

"But I wouldn't have had access to the blueprints of the device," Felicity murmured. "I wouldn't have been able to help disarm it if I wasn't there." She knew she was trying to justify her actions, trying to not let him take the blame for what she did. The responsibility for disarming the device fell squarely on her shoulders. She was the only one capable of clearly directing Detective Lance on how to do it. But her glaring mistake of not finding the second device had been her downfall. She closed her eyes as hot tears began to fall again.

"Felicity," Oliver said, but she refused to budge. Taking her face in his hands, he raised it up so their eyes met, and for the first time in a very long time, she could see the sincerity he was so desperately trying to show her. "This isn't your fault."

"How is it not my fault?" Felicity broke down. "Tell me, Oliver, because I don't see how it isn't! I'm the computer genius. It was my responsibility to do a thorough sweep of the data we recovered from the Merlyn Global mainframe and it's pretty obvious that I failed!" She was sobbing now. Through her tears she could see the pain in Oliver's eyes as he gently stroked them away from her cheeks. "Because of my lapse in judgment, half of the Glades is in ruins! Because of me, hundreds, if not thousands of people are dead! "

"This is not your fault. Do you hear me, Felicity? You are not to blame for this." The conviction in Oliver's voice was so strong she paused for a moment and just stared at him. His determination buoyed Felicity's spirits. Seeing his resolve allowed her to find some of the peace of mind she'd been missing these last couple days.

"Then if it's not my fault, it's not your fault either," Felicity said, her conviction just as strong as his. "If anything, this is Malcolm's fault. He's the one who set this into motion. He's the one who planned it out and had the devices commissioned. Why don't we just blame him for a change? We should have been blaming him all along."

"You're right," Oliver conceded with a sigh. He continued to hold her face in his warm hands, stroking her cheeks as he gazed down at her with ever softening blue eyes. "You're absolutely right."

Felicity took a deep, shuddering breath. She closed her eyes and sank into his touch. "Now do you understand why I've always had so much faith in you? Why I believe everything you've sacrificed makes you a hero?"

She opened her eyes again and saw the confusion written all over his face. Reaching up even as her shoulder protested the movement, Felicity placed her hand against his cheek. "You went from being this vengeful person to putting other people ahead of your vendetta. And that's what makes you a hero in my book, the fact that you've changed so much in the time I've known you."

He merely nodded. "You're a good person, Oliver. Or, at least you try to be with all the burdens that have been heaped on you."

Silence settled between them as they stared at each other. "I'm sorry for what I said to you yesterday," Oliver finally whispered, his fingers pushing back an errant strand of her wet golden hair back behind her ear. "I'm sorry for kicking you out."

"I forgive you," Felicity replied. "But only if you forgive me."

"Why?" He looked confused again.

"Because just like you, I need absolution."

"But…"

Felicity cut him off by pressing her finger to his lips. "Please," she begged. It was then that she realized what she'd done and quickly pulled her hand away.

"Felicity, I forgive you," Oliver said. He wasn't indulging her. His eyes were open and sincere telling her he meant what he said.

"Thank you," she whispered. They gazed at each other for several more moments before a loud crack of thunder shook the house again. Felicity squeaked before huddling into Oliver's chest as he quickly wrapped his arms around her.

"It wasn't just the Glades that had you on edge, was it?" he asked. Shaking her head, Felicity pulled back slightly to meet his pained gaze. As she trembled in his arms, Oliver sighed heavily. "I shouldn't have…"

"No more pointing fingers," Felicity interrupted. "We're done playing the blame game. What happened, happened. We can't change the past."

"That doesn't make it okay. Look what it's done to you." His fingers ghosted across her temple. "You're having nightmares and panic attacks." As if to emphasize his point, another loud crack of thunder echoed over the bay.

Felicity squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep, shuddering breath. "I told you I was okay."

"You weren't. I knew you weren't. I could hear it in your voice."

"But…"

He silenced her by brushing his thumb over her lips. Felicity's eyes popped open feeling its warmth radiating outward. Suddenly, she became very aware of Oliver's close proximity to her and that she was still only wrapped in a towel. Her heart raced, shallow breaths escaping her slightly parted lips, as she gazed up at him. Whatever she'd been about to say was lost when he began tracing his thumb over them.

This was too much for Felicity, but she couldn't tear herself away. The sensations coursing through her body helped calm her down yet fired her up as well. She wanted nothing more than to feel Oliver's thumb continue its path over her lips, but this wasn't the time to try and take that next step in their relationship. So many things from the other night hung between them that needed to be resolved. Yet she found herself leaning into his touch, savoring it as if she'd never feel it again while her eyes slowly began to shut.

The sound of footsteps padding up the stairs startled them both. Felicity quickly pulled away as Thea's voice rang down the hall. "They're up here, Doc," she was saying as she ran up the steps.

"Dr. Isenberg just arrived," Thea said sounding slightly breathless as her head popped into the room. From behind her, Doc peered over her shoulder before stepping inside carrying is brown leather bag.

Oliver was on his feet in seconds. Losing his warmth, Felicity whimpered as her hands tightened around the blanket. She watched as he brushed past Thea, leaning in to tell her something before nodding to Doc. "We'll be right back," he said before they left the room.

Thea came to sit on the edge of the bed beside her, softly asking, "Are you feeling any better?"

Felicity nodded even though losing her security blanket made her feel as if her world would fall apart. She found it hard not to succumb to the darkness that began to circle her again with Oliver gone and suddenly realized she had no idea how he'd become such an intricate part in keeping her sane. She'd gone from being angry at him to being unable to function without him, a thought that frightened her to her core. When had this happened? Felicity couldn't help but wonder.


	7. The Illusion Of Peace

**_Chapter 7: The Illusion of Peace_**

"You'll be okay," Thea said reassuringly as she placed her hand over Felicity's. "I'm sorry about whatever happened to you. I shouldn't have been so hard on you and Ollie yesterday. I didn't know what you two had been through."

"It's… It's okay," Felicity stuttered. She really didn't know what else to say. She just knew she suddenly felt very uncomfortable lying in bed wrapped only in a towel. Glancing up at the younger Queen, she tentatively asked, "Thea, can you help me with something?"

"Yeah, sure, what's up?" she replied.

"Um, I'd really like to get dressed before Oliver and Doc come back," Felicity said as she slowly sat up, tugging the towel and the blanket with her. "I grabbed some clothes from the closet earlier, but I don't know where Oliver put them."

Thea stood up and glanced around the room. Her eyes settled on the other side of the bed. "These?" she asked, reaching over and holding up the black sweats and white tank top.

"Yeah," Felicity nodded.

"Do you need me to actually help you get dressed or…?"

The question hung in the air for several moments as Felicity lowered her eyes. As much as she hated asking for help, the pain in her shoulder made it impossible not to. Nodding again, she replied, "Only with my bra. But if it makes you uncomfortable…"

"Don't worry about it. I got you," Thea answered.

"Thank you," Felicity gratefully said as she turned around and slowly began slipping her arms into the white straps, her right arm first slowly followed by the left. About halfway up, she felt Thea's fingers pull them up the rest of the way before clipping the bra at her back. "You're a lifesaver."

"Don't mention it," Thea replied with a smile when Felicity turned around, the towel now lying in her lap. "Do you need help with anything else?"

"Maybe my shirt, but let me see if I can do it myself first," Felicity answered as she slipped the flimsy garment over her head. Using the trick Oliver had showed her, she managed to pull the left sleeve down far enough so her shoulder would bend minimally.

"Looks like you're good," Thea said before turning around and heading to the door. "I'll let you finish getting dressed. Yell if you need anything." She shut it behind her and Felicity was alone again.

Quickly shimmying into the white cotton underwear, she grabbed the black sweats and began to throw them on when she realized she needed a new bandage for her stitches. That could wait, Felicity thought before hopping back into bed just as someone knocked on the door. Her head shot up towards it. "Are you decent?" she could hear Oliver say behind it.

"Yeah, I'm dressed," she called back. The door opened and he entered followed closely behind by Doc.

"You look better," Oliver observed as he sat down on the edge of the bed where Thea had been earlier and reached for her hand.

"I feel better," Felicity replied with a weak smile. And she was now that he'd come back. Their fingers laced together as she leaned against him, her head coming to rest against his shoulder.

"So, Felicity, tell me what happened," Doc said, choosing to stand as he set his bag down on the bed.

"I'm pretty sure it was a panic attack, based on what I've been told panic attacks feel like," she replied, squeezing Oliver's hand for support. "Um, shaking, shallow breathing, feeling scared to death, flashbacks of everything that happened the other night…" Her voice trailed off as she glanced up at Oliver. He nodded, letting her know Doc had been filled in on some of the more important details so she wouldn't have to replay them and risk having another attack.

"Definitely sounds like a panic attack to me, but it also sounds like you might be suffering from post traumatic stress," he surmised. "Oliver told me about what happened before you arrived here. I had a feeling what I saw in the diner last night had something to do with it as well." Doc pulled a pad of paper out of his bag and wrote something down before tearing it out and handing it to her. "I'm giving you a prescription for Xanax to help get you through another attack, but I would rather have you see a psychologist. PTSD isn't something you take lightly."

"Yes, sir," Felicity said, glancing over at Oliver with a knowing look. He returned her gaze before his eyes fell to their interlocked hands.

"How are you other injuries doing?" Doc asked.

"About the same," Felicity shrugged.

"Good," he replied. "I'll be on my way then. Thea made it seem much worse than it actually was. Still glad I came though." Doc put away his notepad and grabbed his bag. Before heading out the door, he said, "Liv made you guys some fresh muffins and other goodies in case you were hungry. I left them downstairs on the kitchen counter."

"Thanks again, Doc," Oliver replied as he stood to shake his hand. "Sorry if we've been bothering you."

"It's no trouble at all, Oliver. Gave me a good excuse to come out here before Liv started bugging me about it. You two have a good day now." With a soft smile and a nod, Doc was out the door and headed downstairs.

"Did I hear him say muffins and other goodies?" Felicity asked. Her stomach growled at the prospect of eating food.

Oliver grinned at her. "I'll go get you something before Thea eats them all."

She curled up in bed and snuggled into the covers as she waited for him to get back. It only took Oliver a few minutes to return with a full plate of everything ranging from blueberry muffins and red velvet cupcakes to brownies and cookies and two bottles of water.

"Did you just grab one of everything?" she asked, her eyes widening at the large array of pastries he waved in front of her.

"Two."

"Then I want both red velvet cupcakes." Felicity sat up, the covers falling from her shoulders as she settled herself in a sitting position.

Oliver handed her the plate and placed the water bottles on the comforter beside her before making his way to the other side of the bed. The light breeze that blew over her as he brushed past made Felicity shiver. As he settled into the other side of the bed, she placed the plate between them and tugged the blanket closer.

"Are you cold?" Oliver asked as he glanced at her.

"A little," Felicity replied. Without a word, he unzipped his hoodie then proceeded to help her slip into it. "Thank you," she said. It was about three sizes too big for her tiny frame, but it was warm and comfortable. She huddled into it, Oliver's scent enveloping her as she slipped the hood over her wet hair and sat back against the pillows.

Reaching down and picking up one of the cupcakes she'd claimed earlier, Felicity peeled back the wrapper and took a bite. Her eyes rolled up as she moaned in pleasure from the taste of the cream cheese frosting mixed with the moist cake. "Oh, my god… This is divine," she breathed, taking another bite.

"I can't even begin to tell you how much I've missed Liv's baking," Oliver replied as he took a bite of the double fudge brownie he'd grabbed. "Oh, yeah, just like I remember," he added before devouring the rest of it in one bite.

Felicity smiled as she swirled her finger in the frosting of her cupcake and licked it off before taking another bite. Yes, these were heavenly and probably the most delicious cupcakes she'd ever had. Liv was definitely a spectacular baker. They'd have to pick up some more of these goodies in the coming days.

They spent the next half hour tasting their way through each pastry until the plate had been nearly licked clean. Taking a sip from her water bottle, Felicity inched her way back down the soft pillows as her eyes became heavy again. She tried to stifle a yawn, but Oliver noticed it anyway. He took the bottle from her hands and placed it on the nightstand beside her glasses.

"Go to sleep," he said, tugging the covers over her shoulders.

"But I don't wanna," Felicity weakly protested through another yawn.

"Are you afraid the nightmares might come back?" Oliver asked, giving her a knowing look.

Her head immediately shot up to look at him and gave away exactly what she was thinking. Nodding, she replied, "Yes."

What happened next stunned her into silence. Oliver wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to his chest. Before Felicity knew it, he had enveloped her in yet another warm embrace, her head falling beneath his chin. "I told you I wasn't going anywhere," he whispered as his hand came up to cradle the back of her head. "Go to sleep, Felicity."

"Only if you promise to sleep with me," she mumbled. Even in her exhausted state, Felicity knew when she'd said something stupid. That had been, by far, the worst thing to come out of her mouth since the casino incident. Squeezing her eyes shut, she added, "I don't mean sleep with me, I mean fall asleep with me, as in close your eyes and get some rest sleep with me. And I'm way too tired for this right now…" Another yawn caught her off guard, but this time she didn't even bother trying to hide it.

Thankfully Oliver chose to ignore her little ramble and instead stroked the back of her head through the hoodie. Felicity relaxed into his chest, her left hand coming to rest below her chin as she huddled into his warmth. She sighed deeply and his scent enveloped her. He smelled of eucalyptus and mint vaguely mixed with the treats they'd eaten.

"Oliver?" Felicity murmured as sleep began to take over her senses.

"Hmmm?" he mumbled back, obviously just as exhausted as she was.

"What if the nightmares come back?" The apprehension came out clear in her voice as did the slight tremble of fear.

Oliver held her a little tighter, slipping his hand beneath the hood so it stroked her neck. "I'll be right here," he reassured her then placed a soft kiss to her forehead.

"Okay," she barely whispered as her forehead came to rest just below his chin.

And for the first time since they got to the cottage, Felicity fell asleep with relative ease. When she awoke that afternoon, she found herself sprawled out across Oliver's chest, her ear pressed to his heart listening to its steady rhythmic beat. His arms were wrapped around her waist, holding her against him as he continued to sleep beneath her. It didn't even occur to Felicity that this was a strange position to be in as she nestled herself beneath his chin, her legs tangling with his looking for more warmth.

Oliver sighed in his sleep, his arms tightening around her in response as he buried his face in her hair, the hood of her sweatshirt having fallen back some time ago. She reveled in the warm safety of his arms, finding serenity she hadn't felt since before the fall of the Glades. As sleep made her eyes heavy once again, Felicity found herself stretching out over his broad chest, unashamed of using his body as her pillow.

But the peace didn't last long. The door flew open and Thea rushed inside. "Oliver!" she cried, startling them both from their slumber. He bolted upright, his arms tightly wrapped around Felicity as wild eyes scanned the room ready to attack. When they settled on Thea and assessed her as not being a threat, he relaxed, letting go of his hold on the trembling blonde and beckoned his sister to step closer.

"Thea, what's wrong?" Oliver asked, still slightly jarred by her unexpected entrance. One of his arms remained around Felicity, holding her close as she tried to calm down by taking several deep breaths.

Thea simply held out the phone she'd been holding to her chest and he took it. "Hello?"

"Ollie?"

Felicity could hear Laurel's voice crack as she spoke his name and knew exactly what was about to happen. She wrapped her good arm around his waist and pulled herself against his side in hopes of keeping him calm. Of all the things they needed right now, this wasn't one of them.

"Laurel." It came out as a breath, one Oliver seemed to have been holding a while now.

"It's… um… Tommy," she sobbed, unable to keep it together.

Felicity could see it was becoming harder and harder for him to hold onto his poker face. The emotions were swimming in his eyes as she looked up at him and suddenly felt her heart sink in her chest. His muscles coiled almost as if he was about to jump at any moment. She could feel the tension beneath her fingertips as she tried her best to soothingly stroke it away.

"What about Tommy?" Oliver asked through gritted teeth. His voice carried the emotions she found in his eyes and hoped he wouldn't bolt the first chance he got. But this was Oliver Queen, the master of avoidance. It was going to take a lot more than her arm around his waist to keep him from leaving her side.

"He's… He's… gone!"

Feeling her throat tighten hearing Laurel's gut wrenching sobs over the phone, Felicity looked up at him to find the pain written all over his face. This wasn't a show he was putting on for his sister. It was genuine and heartbreaking, and she couldn't hold back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes when she saw it. Her arm tightened around his side, but it wasn't enough to hold him back. Oliver was bounding out of the bed, the phone having dropped to the mattress beside Felicity's empty hand.

"Oliver?" Thea whimpered as he brushed past her. "Oliver!" She sprinted out of the room after him and Felicity followed far behind. Thea and Oliver were both down the stairs well before she could even get out of bed and put on her glasses, but she could easily hear their voices. "Oliver, where are you going?" Thea asked, but she got no answer. As Felicity hobbled down to the last step, she saw him throw open the door and run out into the pouring rain in just a t-shirt and sweats.

"Oliver!" Thea was sobbing as she watched him sprint down the road before he was out of sight. She sagged against the doorframe as Felicity came up behind her.

"Thea!" Felicity said as she wrapped her arm around the younger woman. "Thea, come here."

She turned into Felicity's embrace and buried her face in her shoulder. "Where is he going?" she cried into the soft fabric of the hoodie.

"He just…" Felicity sighed. She really didn't know what to tell the younger Queen. When Oliver didn't want to be around anyone, his usual instinct was to train until his body gave out. But this was a new setting without the comfort or safety of the foundry. Lord knew where he was going or what he'd do. This was Felicity's worst nightmare coming true, and she had no idea how to stop him or bring him back.

"I think he needs some time to process," she finally replied, her eyes falling on the empty road, praying that Oliver would come back soon. She was beginning to realize now that whatever had happened to Tommy, Oliver had been there to witness it and it was tearing him to pieces.

Silently vowing to help him through this just as he'd helped her, Felicity kicked the door closed and led Thea to the couch. She'd deal with Oliver when he came back. Right now his sister was her primary concern.


	8. Missing You, Scared For You

**_Chapter 8: Missing You, Scared For You_**

Settling Thea on the couch, Felicity got up to grab a glass of water from the kitchen. When she returned, Thea had curled herself into a little ball against the armrest with her head lying on the pillow Felicity had slept on the night before. "Here," she said, handing the younger woman the water before she sat down beside her.

"I… This… I can't…" Thea babbled before taking a gulp.

"It's okay," Felicity comforted the best she could as she laid her hand over Thea's. "I know I'm probably the last person you want to talk to right now, so you don't have to talk. I'll probably end up talking enough for the both of us if you don't stop me. But I want you to know if you do need to talk, I'm more than willing to listen. You don't have to tell me everything, but sometimes just talking about something helps ease the pain."

Thea stared at her with the same unreadable expression she usually saw on Oliver's face when he was unsure of what to do. It soon softened into a weak smile as she replied, "Thank you, but right now, I really don't wanna talk. I just…" The tears came spilling down her cheeks again. Felicity nodded in understanding as she squeezed her hand.

For well over an hour, they sat together in silence, the only sound coming from the rain pitter-pattering against the wooden deck outside. Felicity kept her hand wrapped around Thea's knowing it would provide some comfort to the grieving teenager. At first, it felt strange, providing comfort to someone she barely knew. But this was Oliver's sister. She'd been through almost as much hell as her brother, and having to find out about Tommy's death over the phone would be traumatic for anyone, especially after the tragedy in the Glades.

"Tommy died trying to save Laurel," Thea said, knocking Felicity out of her thoughts. She looked at the brunette to see her eyes filled with tears. "That's what she told me. She said she got pinned under some chunk of concrete and Tommy somehow managed to pull it off her so she could escape. But then there was another aftershock and he was… killed by falling debris."

Suddenly Oliver's reaction made perfect sense. He must have been there when it happened. Felicity could feel her throat constrict when she realized he'd probably watched Tommy die right in front of him, heard his last words even. It broke her heart and she wished he was there so she could give him a hug and comfort him as he'd comforted her earlier.

"Tommy was my brother," Thea continued. Glancing at the brunette, Felicity noticed her gaze was somewhere far off in the distance as she spoke. "When Oliver went missing…" she sniffled, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand as she tried not to cry again, but seemed to be failing as a couple of traitorous tears fell down her cheeks. "Tommy came over. He stayed with me for almost two weeks, eating junk food and watching Disney movies with me the whole time. He was the one I talked to about everything. He was always there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on.

"Tommy saw me through a lot of ups and downs, from my first boyfriend to the drug and alcohol problems. My mom was too preoccupied with her own grief to really pay much attention to me, so I turned to him when I needed to talk to someone. He understood what I was going through because he'd been there and he was going through it himself. We would talk about almost anything. Nothing was off limits. Embarrassingly enough, he was the one who got stuck giving me 'the talk'," Thea giggled.

"That had to be embarrassing!" Felicity commented, unable to stop her own laugh.

"He was bright red. You should have seen him! I don't think I've ever seen Tommy that flustered! He couldn't stop stammering because I must have been thirteen and I'd blatantly asked him 'What's sex?' It was cute and funny and awkward at the same time," Thea explained.

"I can imagine!" Felicity replied. There was a lull in the conversation as Thea retreated into her memories. "Tell me about Tommy," she prodded. "Oliver spoke fondly of him, but I never got a chance to get to know him."

"Tommy was…" Thea paused for a moment to gather her thoughts. "Tommy was that guy in high school that everybody liked. He was the class clown, the one who could always make you laugh. He was the best friend who would bring you popcorn and chick flicks when you were feeling down then watch them with you the whole night even though he'd probably seen them with you a million times before.

"That's who Tommy was, to me at least. He and I became really close while Oliver was gone. For five years, he was my brother. He was the one I talked to about everything. He was always there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. Then Oliver came back, but he was so… different. But Tommy, he didn't change. He was still my brother." And then she was sobbing again.

Felicity leaned in and wrapped her in a one armed hug. "I'm sorry," she whispered, trying to be as comforting as possible.

"I told Tommy things I couldn't tell my mother. He understood so much of what I was going through, especially after we lost Oliver. I wouldn't talk to anyone but him. Who am I going to talk to now?" Thea cried. "Oliver hasn't stopped judging me since the day he got back. Tommy never did that. He kept me going when I felt like everything was about to fall apart. I just wish these last few months hadn't been so strained between him and Ollie. I missed him dropping by. I missed talking to him. I missed my best friend." Several more tears fell down her cheeks as she continued trying to come to terms with everything.

Felicity stroked her back in an effort to comfort her, but she knew it wasn't nearly enough. She wished she knew a little more about the brunette, but Oliver didn't talk much about his family. Then again, he'd been away from them for so long that he probably didn't know her anymore either. "Tell me more about Tommy. What was your favorite thing you guys did together?" Felicity asked, trying to switch to a lighter topic.

Thea looked down at her hands and laughed weakly. "Well, he taught me how to drive," she said. "That was a funny experience." For the next half hour, she talked about the many trials and tribulations she and Tommy had gone through to get her learner's permit then all the mishaps and accidents she'd gotten into afterwards. Felicity could see the tears giving way to smiles and laughter as Thea recalled a particularly bad incident where she'd accidentally driven on top of a police cruiser when she'd tried to reverse but ended up in drive instead. That had them both in stitches.

"Tommy sounded like a great guy," Felicity mused.

"He is… was…" Thea whispered, her gaze returning to her hands. "Felicity?" she asked, her blue eyes glancing up to meet with hers.

"Hmmm?" Felicity hummed.

"Thank you," Thea whispered.

"For what?"

"Listening."

Felicity smiled as she gazed over at the younger woman. "You're welcome," she said, pulling her in for a hug.

"I can see why Oliver likes you," Thea replied as she pulled away and looked at Felicity with soft eyes and a smile. "You're really easy to talk to."

"You think so?" she asked, slightly taken aback by the younger woman's assessment of her.

"Yeah, you're a lot like Tommy. You listen and you don't judge. I feel like I can trust you," Thea said.

Felicity couldn't hide her surprise and shock. A memory of the time she'd given Oliver the notebook Walter had her analyze popped into her head. "You can tell me anything," she replied, knowing it was the truth. "I promise it will always stay between us." Just as Oliver's secret had always remained between the two of them.

"Then can we talk about you and Oliver?" Thea suddenly changed the subject.

This wasn't where she wanted the conversation to go. Trepidation filled Felicity's voice as she asked, "What about me and Oliver?"

"How exactly do you know each other? I know you said something about computers, but what is it you do for him exactly?" Thea unfurled her legs from beneath her and sat down on the couch facing Felicity as she let her head rest against the hand she had propped up on the armrest.

Felicity felt the younger woman's gaze settle firmly on her and swallowed. She really didn't want to be talking about her relationship with Oliver right now, especially since he wasn't there to help censor her in case things got out of hand. "I set up and maintain the network at Verdant for him. I also work for Queen Consolidated, which is how I also know Walter," she finally said, hoping it would satisfy the brunette's curiosity enough not to warrant further questioning.

"I knew you looked familiar!" Thea exclaimed, sounding somewhat proud of herself. "You came to drop off those flowers at the hospital. Now I remember. Oliver introduced you as his friend. But that still doesn't explain how you know him."

Half truths, Felicity reminded herself as she thought for a second about their back story. "Well, it started off with him asking me to fix some of his computer related problems and it kind of escalated from there. When he needed to get the network up and running at the club, he called me and we've been working together ever since." Good job, Smoak! That's how you do it!

That seemed to do the trick for Thea, but her next question was still a doozie. "I know I asked you this last night, but I want you to be honest with me. Are you sleeping with my brother?"

"I can honestly answer no, I'm not sleeping with him. I don't even think I'm his type," Felicity said, realizing it was the truth. She'd seen the women Oliver had been with in the past. They were mostly tall, lanky, beautiful model types that she couldn't hold a candle to, at least that's what she thought.

Thea simply laughed, "You are so not his type, but I see the way he looks at you. It's the way he used to look at Laurel when they were together."

Her words caught Felicity's attention. "What do you mean?" she asked, now very intrigued.

"You have no idea, do you?" Thea replied.

"Obviously not…" How could someone so young see so much? Felicity mused. Then again, this was Oliver Queen's sister. That trait for reading people must run in the family.

Thea continued, "He stops everything for a second and just watches you."

Felicity laughed. "I think that's more because he's afraid I might hurt myself than anything else, especially since I'm already injured," she replied. "He seems to have that protector mentality."

"Oh, he does," Thea said, "But not when it comes to you."

"I swear there's nothing going on between us. Far from it, actually. Like I said before, we're strictly friends." Felicity wasn't budging from that point no matter how many times Thea asked her about the nature of their relationship. Yes, she had a crush on Oliver (how could she not), but he never gave any indication that he shared those feelings for her. Hearing the younger Queen talk so candidly about what she'd seen after less than twelve hours was a little shocking and threw Felicity off kilter, but she still couldn't see it herself.

"But you don't want to be." Suddenly there it was, out in the open. Felicity's head shot up as a triumphant smile crossed Thea's lips. "I see the way you look at him," she said as she pointed her finger at Felicity. She must have looked like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck because Thea continued, "I saw how you were holding onto him this morning and how you were using him as your personal pillow this afternoon. You can't deny your feelings for my brother. I see them written all over your face right now."

'Am I that transparent?' Felicity thought to herself as she tried to close her now unhinged jaw at the prospects of Thea Queen knowing her deepest, darkest secret.

"You and Oliver… I swear, you're the two easiest people to read when it comes to love."

"But we're…"

"I know," Thea interrupted, holding up her hand. "You're just his friend. But don't the best relationships always start out being the best friendships?" she asked.

It struck a chord in Felicity, but she continued to try and deny it, going so far as to say, "He still loves Laurel."

But Thea just rolled her eyes. "Oliver thinks he loves Laurel. Big difference. That's one relationship I hope stays in the past because it was never healthy for either one of them," she revealed. "I know once he gets over it, he'll realize there's someone better."

Felicity was chewing the end of her thumbnail as she listened intently to every word Thea said. "You think so?" she asked. The hope she suddenly felt nearly made her heart explode.

"I know so," Thea replied with a smile. "But Ollie's very stubborn, and it might take a while. Just don't give up on him. I know something deeper connects the two of you. Whatever it is, don't let it go. Give him some time and some space to make his mistakes. He's been through a lot."

"I know," Felicity breathed. "I just hope whatever he's going through right now, he'll get past it and come back soon." She glanced over at the clock on the wall to see it was nearing five.

Thea followed her gaze and replied, "I worry about him so much. Does he at least talk to you about what happened on the island?"

"Not often. I try not to push Oliver because when I do, he shuts down and won't talk to me for a really long time. He knows I'm there for him, just like he's there for me, but he struggles, a lot," Felicity answered. "I hate seeing him go through so much pain. I just… I always want to do something to take it away, you know?"

Thea nodded. "You really do care about him, don't you?"

The emotions Felicity had been trying to hold back were suddenly spilling forth as she tried to keep them at bay. "With all my heart," she whispered before a tear rolled down her cheek. Felicity quickly wiped it away, hoping Thea wouldn't push her into saying anymore. "I'm so worried about him right now. I want to run out there and go look for him, but who knows where he's gone. I just hope he hasn't done anything stupid."

An arm came around her shoulders and suddenly Felicity found herself being the one comforted instead of the other way around. Thea tucked her into a hug as she ran her hands up and down her back. "I know, me too," she replied. "Me too."

They held onto each other for a while, reveling in the comfort they found in one another as the rain continued to pour down outside. Felicity was surprised to find that she felt so at ease around Thea and that she actually enjoyed her company. This unexpected development allowed her to relax a little bit knowing she had someone to talk to if Oliver wasn't around.

The unexpected bond they'd formed was having a profound effect on her mental state as well. Felicity had a very small number of friends, least of all women. Her best friend had moved to Oklahoma to finish grad school while she'd lost touch with the others after high school ended. Thea had been an unexpected and welcomed surprise. Yes, she was Oliver's sister, which meant Felicity had to carefully choose her words, but it didn't stop her from wanting to get to know the feisty brunette.

"Thea," she said before pulling away.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"No, thank you," Thea replied. "You were exactly what I needed, and exactly what Ollie needs."

Felicity threw her good arm around her again, holding tight to the younger woman. The pulled away from each other and sat back on the couch. A comfortable silence settled between them as they stared out the windows towards the rain coming in from the sea.

"You know what I just realized?" Felicity said as she turned to the younger woman. Thea cocked her head. "I haven't seen a computer in nearly three days, which is shocking considering I spend most of my time on one."

"Well, aren't you in luck," Thea replied, hopping off the couch and bounding up the stairs to the guest bedroom. She returned moments later with a tablet in her hands.

Felicity's eyes widened as a smile curled along her lips. "May I?" she asked politely.

Thea handed it to her and she quickly began logging into her email accounts and remotely accessing her phone and voicemail. Several hundred messages popped up, most of which were from family, others from Diggle, and a few from work informing her that the office would be closed until further notice. She'd go through the rest later. Right now, her main concern was the network at Verdant. Although it brought back some unsettling memories, she needed to know everything was okay on that end.

Being unable to remotely log in, Felicity knew the power was still out and that there was no way for anyone else to hack in. She breathed a sigh of relief before logging out of everything else and handed the tablet back to Thea.

"Thank you," she said.

"Hey, are you hungry?" Thea asked, rising from the couch and heading towards the kitchen.

Just the mention of food made Felicity's stomach growl. "Yes, very, but I think all we have here are some old cans of soup."

"Lucky for you, I did a little shopping this morning," Thea replied as she opened the fridge to reveal an assortment of fruits and vegetables, three types of milk including soy, cheeses, deli meats and other odds and ends. "There's also ice cream in the freezer and bread in the bread drawer. I also bought some mac and cheese too."

"Mac and cheese, the best comfort food in the world," Felicity said as she stood up and made her way to the kitchen. As Thea prepared dinner, Felicity kept glancing at the clock, watching the hands move from five to six.

They ate dinner in comfortable silence, occasionally asking each other about lighter topics like makeup and fashion. Both were hyper aware that day had turned to night as the clock chimed seven. Oliver still wasn't back yet.

As Thea cleared away the plates and set the rest of their dinner aside, Felicity stood to pace the span of the living room as she gazed out into the night wondering where he'd gone. Her worry for him was growing. If they were back home, he would probably be sparring with Diggle right now. But they weren't home. Home felt like it was a million miles away from this place and a shell of what it used to be. Felicity shuddered at the thought.

"I'm worried about him too," Thea said as she wandered over to stand beside her.

Felicity sighed deeply. "I'm scared, Thea. I'm wondering if we should call the police. What if Oliver's hurt? What if he's unconscious? What if…?" She swallowed hard, trying not to go down that road with her train of thought. But now that it was in her mind, it wouldn't go away. She felt her body begin to tremble, the fear quickly returning.

Feeling Thea's arms wrap around her, she knew the brunette was just as frightened as she was, if not more. Oliver was her brother. She'd already lost him once. Felicity couldn't imagine what she was going through. "He'll come back," Thea whispered, her voice sounding weak but determined. She wasn't going to let the "what if's" get to her.

Somehow her words allowed Felicity to scrounge up strength she didn't know she had. She realized she couldn't automatically assume Oliver was hurt. After all, he had some of the most advanced survival skills she had ever seen. If anything, he was probably still out there using the trees as his gym or sitting on some rock thinking things through. Felicity figured it was the former. At least that's what she made herself think. All other thoughts were banished from her mind. She needed to focus on the positive. The negative would just put her back in that scary place she'd been in all morning.

Wrapping her good arm around Thea, Felicity held onto her tight for a moment before a knock at the door startled them both. She pulled away suddenly, her heart racing as she bolted upright and stalked towards the door. "Stay here," she told Thea, realizing she had picked up some of Oliver's protective instincts. Or was it paranoia? She had no idea, but that really didn't matter.

Peering through the peephole to see who it was, Felicity's eyes widened and she threw open the door. "Oliver!" she cried, launching herself into his chest as she wrapped her arm around his neck and buried her face in his wet t-shirt. For several moments he stood stiff then stepped into her embrace and tentatively wrapped his arms around her.

It was then that Felicity noticed he was cold, wet and shivering. She pulled back to look him over, making sure he wasn't hurt. Her eyes settled on his and she knew his injuries weren't physical. The pain was still written all over those pale blue pools rimmed red from crying. Her heart crept into her throat as she grabbed his nearly frozen fingers, bringing him into the house.

"Ollie!" Thea came flying past, practically jumping into his arms as Felicity headed to the couch to grab a blanket. "You're freezing!" she added and turned to find Felicity behind her, the blanket in her hands.

"Come on, you need to get out of those wet clothes before you die of hypothermia," Felicity said as she threw the blanket over his head and wrapped it tightly around his shoulders. Taking his hand, she nudged him towards the stairs. Together they headed up to the master bedroom with Thea walking a few paces behind.

Motioning for Oliver to sit on the bed, Felicity began to turn for the closet, but his fingers tightened around her hand and she spun back around to face him. They stared at each other for several moments as a number of unspoken emotions flowed between them. Water trickled down his forehead mixing with his tears and again her throat constricted as the pain in her heart returned. She reached up, her fingers softly wiping the moisture from beneath his eyes and he sighed deeply as he closed them.

Felicity ached to do something to ease his suffering, but she didn't know what. It wasn't until Oliver let go of her hand and wrapped his arms around her waist that she realized he was seeking out the comfort she'd sought in him earlier. As he pressed his face to her abdomen, she gently wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into her warmth. Soon his shoulders began to shake and she could feel the last of her resolve crumble away. Her cheek pressed to his wet hair and she silently cried along with him.


	9. Holding On and Letting Go

**_Chapter 9: Holding On & Letting Go_**

When she finally forced the tears to stop, Felicity lifted her head and found Thea staring at her with a knowing gaze. But the teenager wasn't smiling. Instead, she looked shocked and worried. Her brother was a cold, wet mess falling apart like she'd never seen him before. Felicity's heart went out to both of them. It was hard to watch the scene unfold, but she needed to find some way to help.

What little medical training Felicity had kicked in as she wiped away her tears and said, "Thea, I need you to get Oliver some warm clothes. Can you do that for me?" It snapped the younger Queen out of her stupor and prompted her to throw open the closet door in search of what Felicity was asking.

As she stepped back from Oliver, Felicity placed her hands on his cheeks and gave him a soft smile. Although his eyes were still red rimmed and slightly glazed over, there was a flicker of acknowledgement she saw in them. "Oliver," Felicity murmured, stroking her thumbs over his cheekbones. He leaned into the warmth of her touch, closing his eyes as he sighed. Exhaustion became prevalent over his features as she studied his body. There was still tension coiled in his muscles, but it was more from the fact that he was cold than anything else.

"Oliver," she said his name again, this time a little more loudly, and his eyes fluttered open. Felicity smiled warmly and continued, "I need you to take off your clothes." In any other instance, her cheeks would have been flaming red just saying those words, but tonight, Felicity found herself in a situation that required her to be strong and confident. Pushing aside whatever embarrassment she felt, she pulled the blanket off his shoulders and waited for him to acknowledge her request.

Shaking hands reached for the hem of his shirt, but Oliver barely had the strength to lift it. Without even asking, Felicity grabbed it with her good hand and slowly began dragging it up as he weakly lifted his arms until it was over his head. It fell to the floor with a plop before their eyes met again. This time she could see a flicker of surprise when he gazed up at her as he wrapped his arms around his chest and shivered.

"Thea, I need those clothes," Felicity said as Oliver shook before her. Wrapping her arms around him again, she pulled him into her warmth while she waited for Thea to give her something.

"Here," she said, handing Felicity a navy blue long sleeve shirt before heading back into the closet.

"Oliver…" Felicity was quick to get his attention as she held out the shirt for him. "You'll need to help me with this because I've only got one good arm," she said, lifting it as high as her shoulder would allow, which was at about the height of his head. Oliver slipped his arms into each sleeve then pulled it on.

"Um, Thea…" Felicity's voice trailed off when she stepped back and realized there was one more thing that had to be done. The brunette stuck her head out of the closet and stared at her. Leaning in, Felicity whispered, "What about his pants?"

Thea stifled a laugh as she thrust a pair of sweats into Felicity's hands and replied, "Your problem, not mine."

All the steely resolve Felicity had just moments ago withered away at the thought of taking Oliver's pants off. That was the last thing she wanted to do because she knew where her mind would end up. The flush was already beginning to creep up on her cheeks as she stared at the grey cotton in her hands and tried not to picture the scene in her mind. Oliver Queen with his pants off… She could only hope he'd worn underwear.

"Um… Oliver…" Felicity timidly stammered as her eyes fell to the fabric in her fingers. She knew he was staring up at her. She could always feel his eyes when they were looking in her direction. Hazarding a glance, she said, "Um… you need to… uh… take off your pants."

Behind her she could hear Thea snickering beneath the hand that covered her mouth. "I'm just gonna… leave you two alone," she said, stalking out of the room and closing the door behind her.

Damn the little brat, Felicity thought, realizing she was now alone with Oliver as he sat in front of her still shivering. She handed him the sweats before saying, "You can do this yourself, right?" Even in her own ears she sounded uncertain.

Oliver nodded. "I'll be fine," he rasped. They were the first words he'd spoken to her since Laurel's phone call and Felicity couldn't help but wonder if he really was going to be fine with all that had happened in such a short amount of time.

Sighing, she turned around. Bringing her hands up to her face, she rubbed her eyes. It had been one hell of a long day, and even with the amount of time she'd sleep, Felicity still felt exhausted. The burden she carried not only from what had happened in the Glades, but of wanting to help Thea and Oliver had started to weigh on her. Was this what he put himself through on a daily basis? Felicity could only begin to imagine what it felt like to be Oliver Queen for a day if this was how he lived his life. Her heart fell slightly in her chest just thinking about it.

A pair of arms wrapped around her waist startling Felicity out of her thoughts. She turned around to find Oliver standing in front of her. He tightened his hold around her waist, pulling her to his chest as his head fell to her right shoulder. "I'm here," she murmured as her fingers ran through his cold, wet hair. Nothing could hold back the relief she felt to have him back in one piece. But the pain she felt vibrating through him made her wish she could put him in a bubble and keep him away from anything and everything that had ever hurt him.

Oliver held her closer, his hands spanning the width of her back as his fingers clung to the fabric of her hoodie. Felicity kept her arm draped around his neck as she guided him to the bed. "Lie down," she whispered against his ear and reluctantly he let her go. He slipped beneath the covers and she followed suit, making sure to wrap him tightly in the down comforter before sideling up beside him. His arms came around her waist and she was pressed to his chest once more, his face buried in her hair.

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

"It's okay…"

"No, it's not okay. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have left like I did."

"I can understand why you did it. I know Tommy's a sore topic for you…"

The shaky sigh that escaped Oliver's lungs told her everything she needed to know. He didn't want to talk about Tommy. He was avoiding the topic like the plague. But Felicity knew she couldn't let him run anymore. Even as the tension returned to his muscles, she made sure her entire body was wrapped around him this time, preventing his escape.

"Please, Oliver, don't. Just... don't," Felicity begged, reaching up to stroke his cheek in an attempt to calm him. "I know you're scared and I know you've been through a lot these last few days. Hell, these last five years! But you can't keep running. You've been running ever since you got back from that island."

Oliver tried to turn away, but she gently held his head up so their eyes remained trained on each other. He needed to hear this. He needed to understand what she was trying to say. Felicity continued, "Look at me, Oliver. Running isn't going to solve your problems. If you keep running, they'll just get bigger. You need to see that there are people here to help you; that care about you and love you very much, no matter who you are. You have Thea, who was worried sick about you, who cares about you and loves you unconditionally. She came all the way out here because she was scared, for you! You don't have to let her in, but you have to show her you're trying to be her brother, the brother she needs you to be. She's been through so much since you disappeared that right now, just being one pillar of stability in her life is enough."

Pausing for a moment to gather the rest of her thoughts, Felicity knew the next thing she had to say could potentially change their relationship in either a good way or bad way. Whatever the outcome, she needed to get the words out. "And you have me," she whispered, feeling the tears well in her eyes, but refusing to let them fall. "I promise you I'm not going anywhere. You've become such an important part of my life that leaving is no longer an option. I'm here for you, no matter what. I know you're broken and confused and a whole lot of messed up, but that's what makes you so amazing. You've taken all that bad and you've tried to do some good with it. That's why I chose to stay even after we found Walter. And that's why I refuse to go."

Felicity sighed, "All I ask is that you stop shutting me out so much. You can't keep bottling up your pain because I see how much it hurts you. And I don't like to see you hurting. Those days when you would come into the foundry all quiet and brooding, they killed me. I just want you to try to open up a little every now and then. You don't have to tell me everything. You can even just give me a sentence if that's all you can. But please, don't keep it inside anymore."

For several moments, Oliver lay still. He'd managed to wrangle in his emotions while Felicity had been talking, but she could see the cracks in his façade. It was slowly beginning to crumble as her words resonated within him. She could see it in the way his body relaxed against her. Finally, he nodded. "Okay," Oliver whispered back.

Felicity smiled again as her fingers traced over his face. Leaning forward, she pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I'm right here, whenever you're ready to talk," she said, her hand settling against the back of his neck.

Another deep shuddering sigh came from Oliver as he tightened his hold around her waist, his hands clinging to her sweatshirt as she felt the tension in his muscles return. It scared her to think of all the things running through his mind at that moment. She knew it was probably a war zone in there, but this wasn't her conversation to start. He needed to be the one to open up to her. So she would wait until he was ready, no matter if it was five minutes or five hours from now.

With a sigh of her own, Felicity settled into her pillow, gently stroking the back of his neck in hopes of easing some of the tension she felt there. He buried his face in the crook of her shoulder and closed his eyes.

"I was there," Oliver murmured. She remained silent, letting him continue at his own pace as her fingers brushed against his skin in encouragement. "I heard Laurel crying out for him. I heard the pain in her voice. He'd gone in to save her. When I found him, he was…" Oliver paused again, letting out a shaky breath.

Felicity pulled back so she could look at him. "I know," she whispered. He didn't need to continue. His eyes told her everything. From the tears that flickered in those pale blue pools, she could see he'd been there and watched his best friend die right in front of him. And then, all of a sudden, he was sobbing again. She pulled herself up slightly so his head fell beneath her chin as she wrapped her arm around him.

"It should have been me," Oliver cried. "It should have been me…"

It was heartbreaking, listening to him speak those words. Felicity's arm tightened around him as her fingers sank into his hair. She couldn't bear the thought of living without him. Even thinking about it made her heart sink and the tears spring from her eyes. It wasn't until she felt Oliver pull away that she realized she'd begun to cry. She couldn't hold back any longer. As his hand came up to cup her cheek, she asked, "But why?"

A long, painful silence settled between them as Felicity watched the battle raging in his eyes. Something was eating away at Oliver. For a moment, she thought they were going to go back to the way things used to be, and he would shut her out again, but he swallowed back his tears and said, "Because I never should have slept with Laurel."

Felicity's breath caught in her throat. As much as she hated hearing those words, she knew it was important for Oliver to say them. And it was even more important for her to acknowledge that she didn't live in a vacuum. Laurel was a large part of the reason he'd managed to survive on that island for five years. "You still love her, don't you?" Felicity whimpered, knowing he could hear the hurt in her voice.

Oliver sighed and looked away. She struggled to keep her emotions in check, but it was hard to do, especially after the talk she'd had with Thea. She'd given Felicity so much hope, but now, watching Oliver fall apart as he talked about what had happened in the hours leading to the destruction of the Glades, she couldn't help but feel her heart shattering into a million little pieces. But she'd promised him she would listen, that she would be there for him. She couldn't go back on that promise.

"I'm sorry," Felicity said. "I never…"

"I thought I still loved her," Oliver cut in. His eyes fell to hers and she could see just how much it hurt him to admit that. "I thought once I came back from the island, we could start over, but just as I had changed, she had changed too. When I saw her with Tommy the first time, I knew it was over between us, but I kept trying to ignore it. I figured once the whole Tommy thing ran its course, she'd come back to me, but I could see that wasn't going to be the case. The way was she was around him… She was so happy; much happier than she'd ever been with me. Tommy brought out the best in her. And I got jealous. I wanted it to be me because I was still that selfish boy on the inside when it came to Laurel."

He sighed, the weight of his words falling over both of them. "I regret the moment I stepped into her apartment wanting to talk. I never should have gone there because I knew I was sabotaging a lifelong friendship for a woman I thought I still loved when in reality, I just wanted things to go back to the way they used to be. I thought going to her would make me feel something, but it didn't. Instead, I laid there and felt nothing but regret."

Oliver paused again. Felicity could see yet another painful war going on in his eyes. She didn't press him, though. Instead, she waited until he gathered his thoughts. "I fucked up, Felicity," he earnestly said. "I let my selfish pride ruin my relationship with my best friend because I was jealous he had what I wanted. And then, I let him die because of it. That's why I wished it was me. Because when he came to confront me about what had happened, I did what I always do and avoided the subject altogether. Instead of talking to him about it, I tried to tell him his father was going to destroy the Glades. I should have known it would just set him off. Just before he left he told me he wished I had died on that island. And he was right. I should have if it meant Tommy would still be alive."

Felicity managed to swallow back her sob, but not the tears that streamed down her face. As his thumb wiped them away, she whispered, "Please don't say that… It would matter… to me." Although she wanted to look away, she knew she couldn't. Oliver needed to see her pain just as she'd seen his. "I told you earlier that you've become an important part of my life, and I truly mean that. I never realized what it meant to live until I met you. You've shown me things, strengths I didn't even know I had. You opened my eyes to a whole new world. You've made my life better."

Placing her hand over his, she let out a shaky breath and closed her eyes for a moment hoping to rake in her emotions. When she opened them again, Felicity found him staring at her intently, silently waiting for her to continue. Squeezing his fingers, she went on, "I know I've only known you a short time, Oliver, but one thing I know for sure is that your heart is good. You are a good man. I trust you with my life... with my heart.

"We've all made mistakes we regret, decisions we didn't fully think through because our emotions were running high, but you need to look at those mistakes as stepping stones. Just because you screwed up doesn't mean your life isn't worth living. Tommy was your best friend and no matter what happened between the two of you, he still loved you. Deep down, he didn't hate you. If he'd hated you, he would have gone to the police. But he trusted you, Oliver. He kept your secret just as I've kept your secret, because he cared about you and he wanted to protect you. In the end, that's what you need to remember."

Seeing the way Oliver stared back at her made Felicity realize she was finally getting him to understand that he wasn't the bad person he thought he was. His eyes were soft, contemplative even, as he pressed his forehead to hers before closing them with a deep sigh.

"Felicity," he whispered. "Thank you." Oliver took her hand and placed it over his lips, pressing a soft kiss to her palm. Her heart fluttered, but he wasn't done yet. "Thank you for reminding me I have things to live for, people to live for… When I came back from that island, I knew full well that my crusade was probably going to get me killed because I really didn't have much to live for. I just wanted to fix my father's mistakes and figured I'd die doing that, which was okay at the time, but then I found out just how much certain people cared about me. I wasn't expecting that to happen, and I think that's part of the reason I came back tonight. Because I cared about those people too, and I didn't want to see them hurting."

Too stunned to speak, Felicity just laid there and stared at him as a small smile finally curled along his lips, one she knew was real and genuine, even if it took effort on his part to show her. "I'm sorry for running," Oliver continued. "I'm sorry for worrying Thea. I'm sorry for hurting you."

"It's okay," Felicity whispered. "You're here and that's what matters. I'm just glad you're finally starting to see things my way, because if you didn't, I might have had to get rough… Rough in the sense of pulling out the big guns, not that I wouldn't like to get rough with you, because that would probably be fun… And dear god, what am I saying? I really need to…"

Even before the flush fully spread over her cheeks, Oliver had placed his hand at the back of her head and tipped it forward, pressing his lips to hers before she even had a chance to finish her ramble. Felicity froze the moment their lips touched. It took her several seconds to realize what was going on, but when it dawned on her that she was kissing Oliver Queen, she closed her eyes and leaned into him fully.

What started out as a chaste kiss turned into something more desperate and needy as her hand ruffled through his hair, pulling him closer. A sigh parted her lips and he took it as an invitation to slide his tongue into her mouth. Felicity shuddered, her fingers sinking into his scalp. This unexpected turn of events made her head spin, but now that she knew how Oliver truly felt about her, this kiss took on a whole new meaning.

A change was coming. Felicity could feel it deep down in her soul. Oliver had finally made a choice, and although she was happy it had been her, they still had a long way to go. This was a new beginning for both of them, one that intertwined their futures and signaled the start of better times.


	10. Some Things Only Love Can Fix

**_10. Some Things Only Love Can Fix_**

**_Oh, lord, I hope this helps make up for what happened in last night's episode. Also, this is where the story's rating goes from T to M. You have been warned!_**

* * *

><p>His hands were in her hair, sinking into the tangled golden trusses as she wrapped her right arm around his neck, her left draping across the small of his back as he rolled on top of her. In the span of a few seconds, Felicity found herself pinned beneath the bulk of Oliver's weight, her body desperately clinging to him as his other hand slipped beneath her hoodie. She gasped when it made contact with the skin just above the waistband of her pants. It served to deepen the kiss and sent her own desperate need to touch him into overdrive.<p>

Slipping her hand under his shirt, Felicity felt warm skin beneath her fingertips. This was the first time she'd ever really touched Oliver. All the other times had been to keep him still while she bandaged him up after an injury. But this was different. She was allowed to run her hand up his back, tracing over long healed scars, because he wanted her to.

His hands inched up her torso, stopping only when they reached the soft satin encasing her breasts. Felicity heaved a breath as he began to caress them through the fabric, kneading each one as his lips roamed from her mouth to her neck. They paused at her pulse point, sucking softly until she moaned, then traveled down along the pale column until they reached her collarbone.

Oliver pulled his hands from beneath her shirt, and she whimpered at the loss of contact. But it wasn't for long. His fingers took hold of the zipper and pulled it down until the front of the hoodie lay open. Felicity looked up at him, their eyes meeting in the soft glow of the incandescent light flickering from the lamps on the nightstands. Her left hand remained beneath his shirt, stroking soft circles against his back as her right reached up to cup his cheek.

Turning his head, Oliver closed his eyes and kissed her palm again. This was quickly becoming one of Felicity's favorite things. The soft smile that curled on her lips as he pressed kisses to her fingertips widened when his eyes opened again and he stared back at her. Those beautiful blue pools gazed at her with adoration and trust and she knew, instinctively, his heart was in her hands at that moment. She tilted her head up, placing a tentative kiss to his lips before wrapping her arm around his neck to pull him into her.

For the next hour, languid kisses passed between their lips and over their skin as hands roamed freely, exploring the curves of each other's bodies and memorizing each spot that elicited a moan. They were in no rush to take off their clothes. There was plenty of time for that later. Right now, it was more about connecting; getting to know each other in ways they had longed to do for a while now. Felicity was content just having her arms wrapped around Oliver, letting him know she was okay with taking this slow.

When she felt his fingers slip beneath her tank top again, Felicity knew he had reached his tipping point. Oliver's kisses became insistent as his fingers pulled the fabric from her abdomen, exposing warm skin inch by inch until the white cotton bunched up over her breasts. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he delicately lifted her up to pull the hoodie from her arms, being especially careful not to pull too hard on the left for fear of causing her pain.

Felicity appreciated the gentle way with which he undressed her. As the hoodie was dropped to the floor, she gazed up at Oliver with soft eyes and a warm smile, her lips meeting his for a simple kiss before she pulled away, grabbing the hem of her shirt with her right hand. It was loose enough for her to pull her right arm out before he slowly peeled it away from the left. It was discarded beside the hoodie leaving her in just a bra and black sweatpants.

Still sitting up in bed, she went to grab the hem of Oliver's shirt, but he beat her to it, quickly pulling it off and throwing it to the floor. Her fingers reached out, tracing the lines and ridges of his scars one by one, something she had longed to do from the moment she'd seen them. Felicity felt his breath hitch when she reached the ones covered by the bandage. It was soggy and needed to be removed immediately to prevent infection. With gentle fingers, she pulled it away to reveal the latest battle wound that still made her curious as to how he got it. She would ask him later, after this was over, not wanting to ruin the mood. The bandage at his back soon followed suit.

Leaning in, Felicity's lips met his for another soft kiss before she trailed them down his jaw until they reached the hollow of his neck. Her tongue tasted him there as his arms circled her waist to pull her to his chest. Warm kisses continued to fall over his left shoulder until she had reached the scar that had brought them together and revealed his secret to her. Soft fingers ran over it first, tracing the edges before she leaned in to kiss it. Again Oliver's breath hitched as he brought his hand up and tangled it in her hair.

"Felicity," he whispered, tipping her head up so their eyes met. She found need in those pale blue orbs, need that quickly translated into his kiss as he pulled her lips to his. Oliver wrapped his free arm around her back, his fingers splaying across her skin in an effort to feel as much of her as he could. They crept up to find the clasp of her bra and deftly unhooked it to let the satin fall free from her shoulders.

Oliver refused to break the kiss as he slid the straps down her shoulders, peeling it away from her body so her upper half was now naked. His fingers swept over her arms to fall on her shoulders, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles against her neck. Felicity sighed into the kiss and found his tongue darting back into her mouth to do more exploring. One of his hands remained on her neck as the other trailed down and cupped her breast. She gasped when his thumb flicked over the sensitive nipple.

"Oliver," she moaned against his mouth, her right hand falling to the back of his neck as she scooted closer until her chest was pressed to his. Felicity felt her body being lifted up and quickly wrapped her legs around his thighs before he delicately laid her on the bed, his hand cradling her head before it hit the pillow.

When she was settled in, Oliver's lips broke from hers, trekking down her chin and kissing their way lower. Past the valley of her breasts he continued, only stopping when he reached the elastic band of her sweats. He hooked his fingers into it making sure he had her underwear as well then slowly dragged the material down her thighs as his lips kept kissing the skin he exposed. Felicity lifted her hips and soon felt his mouth pressed to the hard line of her hipbones. He moved across her belly to the other side and repeated it.

As his fingers brushed over the knots and loops of the stitches along her right thigh, Oliver stopped. The pained look that crossed his eyes as he glanced at her made Felicity sit up. It broke her heart to see him so hurt, but she couldn't let that happen. Reaching out, she gently stroked his face and whispered, "It's okay. I'm okay. Don't stop." Oliver hovered above the wound, uncertainty still present in those pale blue eyes. Cupping his chin, she brought his head up so their eyes met. "Please," Felicity begged, the reassurance easily conveyed in her voice.

Turning his head to kiss her palm again, he continued pulling her sweats and panties down her legs until she was free of them. Now completely naked, Felicity smiled down at him. Of all the scenarios she'd imagined Oliver taking her clothes off, this was by far the best one. It wasn't about intense passion or unadulterated lust. No, there was meaning behind each touch, each glance, each kiss. This was exactly how she'd wanted their first time to be.

And as he returned her smile, Felicity sat up again, her hands falling to either side of his face pulling him back to her lips. Oliver sighed contently as he nestled into her embrace, his mouth pressed to hers for more languid kisses as they lay in each other's arms. Even though it was her turn to remove the remainder of his clothes, she chose to continue kissing him as her left hand found its way into his hair. Her right hand skimmed down his back before coming to rest along the hem of his pants. She traced her index finger over the skin there feeling every raised edge of the scar that ran the width.

Hooking her thumb into the waistband, Felicity began to drag it down his hips but found it hard to do with just one hand. Oliver was quick to help her out, grabbing the other side and pulling the sweats off his body in one fluid motion without breaking the kiss. Now they were both naked and she could feel the hardness of his cock pressing into her belly. She reached between their bodies and wrapped her hand around it, slowly stroking him in time with her lips.

"Felicity," Oliver groaned before biting her lower lip and sucking it into his mouth. His fingers pulled at her hair as his hips bucked into her hand. He sat up, his hands falling to her sides and lifting her back slightly so she rested against his thighs. They stared at each other for several long moments, taking in the sight of their naked bodies in the pale yellow light that bathed the room.

"Oliver," she whispered, resting her hands over his. He stared at Felicity, his eyes searching for her permission to continue. She nodded and gave his fingers a light squeeze before smiling her approval. He leaned down for another kiss, his hips nestling against hers before he slipped between her wet folds and entered her slowly.

The deep, shuddering sigh that escaped Felicity's lips was followed by her fingers sinking into his back and hair. She held her breath until he was fully sheathed in her warm wetness before exhaling and wrapping her legs around his waist. Slowly they began to sway, their bodies picking up the rhythm quickly as Oliver wrapped his arms around her back, holding her close with each thrust of his powerful hips.

Biting her lip to keep the noise down, Felicity knew she wasn't going to hold out for very long and neither was Oliver. They were both on the brink of exhaustion, but their bodies craved the release that came with the intimacy of this act. She held him tight, her eyes never leaving his as their movements increased speed until the bed softly creaked beneath them and their breaths came in sort pants.

With every deep thrust of his hips, she knew they were getting closer. Felicity could feel the delicious tension building low in her belly as her walls tightened around his cock, coaxing him closer to the edge as well. It wasn't long before the first wave of her orgasm hit. She reached for his lips, stifling her cry against his mouth as her eyelids squeezed shut and the world exploded into stardust behind them. Her body shuddered and she felt him come along with her, his arms tightening around her back as the rest of his body went rigid.

They lay in each other's arms, relaxed and spent as their bodies slowly came down from the high. Felicity softly brushed her fingers against Oliver's temple as he buried his face in the crook of her neck, his soft breaths fanning out over her shoulder. She kissed his forehead and ran her fingers through his hair until he shifted and rolled them onto their sides. Nuzzling his nose, she placed a soft kiss to his lips before settling into the warmth of his embrace. Her left hand draped over his hip as their legs tangled together.

Oliver grabbed the comforter and threw it over them before his head settled on the pillow above hers. Bringing his hand to her face, he gently pulled the glasses off her nose and set them on the nightstand before reaching over to turn off the light. The light on his side flickered off soon after and his hand returned to her face. His fingers came to rest against Felicity's neck, softly stroking skin as she nestled closer to his chest until her ear was pressed to his heart. She smiled as she listened to the steady beat until it lulled her to sleep.

The last thing she remembered before closing her eyes was Oliver's soft sigh as he pressed his lips to her forehead and whispered, "Goodnight beautiful." Felicity attempted to murmur something back but it only came out as a hum. Within moments she fell into a deep slumber.

It was just before dawn when Felicity awoke. Pale tints of pink, purple and orange peeked out from behind the curtains as the sun began its ascent into the sky. The rain had stopped some time during the night, a welcome respite from the gloom that seemed to have settled over the area. She was sprawled out over Oliver's chest again, his arms wrapped around her waist, holding her tight as he slept. Then the memory of the previous afternoon came to mind and she realized just how prophetic her words had been.

"Only if you promise to sleep with me…" Felicity couldn't help but smile. He had fallen asleep with her then as he had fallen asleep with her now, their arms wrapped around each other, her body lying atop his, only this time the connection had become so much deeper and so much more meaningful.

Nuzzling his neck, she placed a soft kiss to his collarbone before resting her head against his shoulder. There was nowhere else Felicity wanted to be than here right now. The safety she felt in Oliver's arms kept away her dark thoughts and demons giving her the peace she so desperately sought. It was in his embrace she found her comfort and happiness. She knew this had been a long time coming. She had always trusted him, first with Walter's notebook then with her safety and now with her heart. It seemed like a logical progression, albeit a little more accelerated had they lived slightly more normal lives. Then again, she wouldn't give up helping the Hood for the world.

As her thoughts ambled from one thing to the next, Oliver's hand came to rest against her forehead, gently stroking her temple as he placed a kiss into her hair. Felicity smiled as she gazed up at him. Blue eyes met and a smile appeared on his face as well. "Good morning," she whispered before tilting her head to reach his lips. Their kiss was short and sweet, just enough to rouse them from their slumber.

"Good morning," Oliver replied, his fingers gently caressing her cheek. "Did you sleep well?"

"Very well," Felicity said with a smile. "No nightmares."

"Good." He leaned down and kissed her forehead again.

"How about you?"

His lips quirked in a wider smile, "Better than before."

"I'm glad." Felicity shifted slightly, her body rubbing against his in a manner that had him tensing beneath her before his fingers began to trail down her side. The heated gaze Oliver fixed her with had her gasping as her hand fell to his chest. She settled on top of him, her lips finding his skin and kissing it softly. Delicate hands began to wander over the scars and marred flesh she'd traced the previous night until her fingers stilled over the still-healing wound above his heart, careful of the tender edges.

Gazing up, Felicity met his eyes. She found hesitation there, something she had been expecting. It prompted her to ask, "Oliver, how did this happen?" Her voice held more curiosity than anything as she circled the puncture with her forefinger.

The sigh that escaped his lungs made her rise and fall with his chest as she patiently waited for his answer. When he reached up to stroke her hair, Felicity tensed, thinking, yet again, he would put the walls up and not let her in. But Oliver continued to amaze her with his newfound ability to open up. "It was…" he hesitated for only a moment before adding, "self inflicted."

Felicity kept her breaths even as she forced down the desire to cringe. It was hard to hear her suspicions being confirmed. She reached up to reassuringly stroke his cheek, waiting for him to continue. Oliver sighed again, his fingers tangling in her hair as he silently pleaded with her to understand. When she nodded, he continued, "It happened when I was fighting with Malcolm. He… He had me in a headlock and was about to kill me. When I saw the arrow, I knew what I had to do." His eyes flicked away from hers.

"Oliver," she whispered, unable to keep the pain from her voice. Felicity hadn't realized just how close she'd coming to losing him that night, and now that she did, the overwhelming emotions that suddenly bubbled up came spilling out. Crushing her lips against his, she gave him an idea of how deep her fear went.

"Felicity," he murmured against her lips. "I'm sorry."

Pulling away, she replied, "I don't care. You're here. That's all that matters." With that, her mouth returned to his, frantically pressing kisses to his lips. Felicity needed to feel him again, moving with her, pushing her fears away with every thrust of his hips. Her arms wrapped around Oliver's neck as his hands settled on her thighs. Together they sat up, her legs circling around his waist. She could feel his hardness pressing against her bottom and reached down to stroke it.

Without breaking the kiss, Felicity slowly moved him into position. Just as she was about to sink down onto his cock, the door flew open.

"I heard you guys talking. I'm glad you're up because… OH MY GOD!" Thea screamed when her eyes fell on the site before her. The phone she held in her hands dropped to the floor as she quickly covered her eyes with her fingers and turned around.

"Don't you knock?!" Oliver yelled as he quickly grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around Felicity before pulling her back down against the bed. In the rush, he didn't realize he'd grabbed her left arm until she let out a painful cry. Immediately turning towards her, he asked, "Are you alright?"

Felicity nodded though tears pricked her eyes. Grabbing her shoulder, she turned away from him hoping he hadn't seen her pain through the mortification of literally being caught with her pants down. As she clutched the blanket to her chest with her aching arm, Felicity sat up. Oliver had his arm around her waist seconds later, pulling her against his chest as they both stared at the embarrassed brunette. The tension in his stance was palpable.

"What do you want, Thea?" he asked, his voice carrying his annoyance.

"Never mind, it can wait," she stammered before reaching down and patting the ground looking for her dropped phone with her eyes still closed. When she found it, Thea jumped up and scurried out of the room. "You are so paying for my therapy when we get home," she muttered as the door closed behind her.

After she had gone, Oliver relaxed. "Are you okay?" he whispered against Felicity's ear as his hand fell to the mottled skin of her left shoulder. He gently brushed his fingers over it causing her to inhale sharply when they reached a tender spot. "I'm sorry," he said, pulling his hand away.

"Hey, it's not your fault," Felicity replied as she turned around to face him. "And it's just a little sore. Nothing some pain killers and a little ice can't fix." A smile lit up her face as she brushed her hand over his cheek. Oliver still looked dour, so she tried another tactic.

"You know, you and your sister share a common trait," Felicity mused as she laid back into the pillows and gazed up at him.

"What's that?" he curiously asked. His arm came around her waist as he settled in next to her.

"You don't think to knock!" she replied, bursting into a fit of giggles. The mood in the room immediately lightened.

Rolling on top of her, Oliver smiled. "I said it before, I'll say it again… It's the IT department, Felicity, not the ladies room," he replied, trying to keep the amusement out of his voice but failing miserably.

She continued to giggle, her hands stroking his face. As silence fell between them, Felicity said, "I love seeing you smile. I love seeing you happy even more."

The grin on his face widened. "You make me happy," Oliver whispered before he pressed a kiss to her lips.

Felicity felt her heart flutter. The change in Oliver between last night and this morning had been remarkable. Gone was the heavy weight that had constantly followed him around since the day they met. He seemed lighter, happier, and it was a beautiful sight to behold. She stared up at him with wonder and amazement. Was this what he was like before the island? Felicity pondered the question for a moment before deciding it probably was. And she liked it.

"Well, you make me happy," she replied, kissing him back. Her hand slid into his hair, keeping him firmly planted to her lips until they pulled away breathless. The desire had returned to Oliver's eyes as she bit her lower lip. "So, where were we before Thea so rudely interrupted?" Felicity asked, raising her hips slightly to grind them against his.

Oliver groaned, his arm wrapping around her waist before he rolled them over so she was on top once more. "I believe," he said, kissing her. "We were…" another kiss, "about to…" two more kisses, "continued what we were doing last night."

"Mmm," Felicity purred against his lips. "Sounds about right."


	11. Limbo

_**11. Limbo**_

"So, how bad do you think we messed up Thea?" Felicity said as she absently traced her finger along Oliver's chest. She was curled up on top of him, her head falling beneath his chin while his arms wrapped around her waist.

"She'll be fine," Oliver reassured her before pressing a kiss to her forehead. "What about you? Still sore?"

"In all the right ways," Felicity smirked. It drew a chuckle from the man beneath her until she looked up and met his eyes. Folding her arms across his chest, she asked, "You know what I was thinking?"

"What?"

"We should go into town today, maybe grab lunch at the diner and do some shopping," she said. "I have been without technology for far too long."

"Are you trying to tell me something, Miss Smoak?"

"Nothing you don't already know." Felicity grinned at him before reaching up for a kiss. "Besides, how does this place not have a TV? I didn't see one downstairs and there isn't one up here."

"This place was made to get away from technology," Oliver clarified. "That's why there is no TV or computer or internet for that matter. Just a simple phone line and that's it."

"Huh… So that was the phone I heard ringing the other day…"

"Most likely."

"How many people know the number?"

"Only Diggle and Thea."

Felicity nodded. "I still need a tablet and a cell phone, though," she said, stretching her arms out until the left one protested any further movement. "I need to keep tabs on the Verdant servers. As soon as the power is restored they could be vulnerable. And it would also probably be a good idea to get back in touch with the outside world and see what's going on back home…"

Oliver sighed. She could tell he wasn't happy thinking about Verdant or Starling City at that moment. The news would probably be covering it non-stop right now, so it was good that they didn't have a TV. Anything to keep his mind off the destruction of the Glades and Tommy's death was a welcome respite.

But Felicity knew that they couldn't stay here forever. Yes, Diggle had told them to lay low for a couple of weeks until the head hunters' rage had been quelled. Even then she was still afraid there would be people out there gunning for Oliver and Thea. After all, Moira Queen had conspired with Malcolm to destroy the Glades, dragging the Queen name through the mud. If she was in jail, that left her children exposed and vulnerable. Oliver could easily take care of himself, but she was more worried about Thea.

"You're right," he said, startling Felicity out of her thoughts. She looked up at Oliver and gave him a reassuring smile before pulling herself up to softly kiss his lips.

"I'm going to hop in the shower," Felicity replied as she rolled off his chest and sat up. A flashback of the previous attempted shower suddenly popped into her head. Her body stiffened as the memory of the panic attack caused her heart to speed up and her breathing to still. The bed moved beneath her and suddenly Oliver was kneeling in front of her, his hands coming up to cup her face.

"You want me to join you?" he asked, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. His calm, reassuring smile eased her fears somewhat. Felicity simply nodded when she saw the overwhelming concern in his eyes and before long, they were both in the bathroom beneath the warm shower spray.

Even with Oliver there beside her, she couldn't get the memories out of her head. Felicity reached out to him, pulling herself into his embrace as he wrapped his arms around her. When her head fell to his shoulder, his hands came up to stroke the wet strands of her golden hair. She was desperately holding back her tears using every last ounce of strength she had until Oliver whispered into her ear, "Cry."

And she did. A strangled sob escaped Felicity's throat as the torrent of tears she'd held back finally broke free. "It's okay," Oliver continued to murmur against her ear. "I'm right here." He began rocking her gently as her hands clung to his back.

Somehow, letting the emotions run their course as the water rained down on her skin felt like a huge weight was slowly being lifted off her shoulders. Felicity closed her eyes as the memories rushed through her mind. With each passing thought, she let go of some of the guilt and a small piece of her sanity seemed to return.

Having Oliver there as her safety net in case things became too much for her to handle gave Felicity the strength to push past the fear. He had quietly become her rock just as she had become his, grounding her when life seemed to knock her off her feet. She held him tighter as they rocked together under the warm water until the tears finally dried and the fear had subsided. He placed a tender kiss to her forehead as she gazed up at him, her eyes still red rimmed, but a weak smile having touched the edges of her lips.

"Thank you," Felicity mumbled before letting him go.

"Always," Oliver replied, cupping her chin as he leaned down to kiss her.

After about half an hour, they were both showered and wrapped in warm, fluffy towels. Oliver had redressed her thigh then offered to rummage through the closet to find her some clothes, but Felicity had declined. She stepped in with him and slowly went through the racks until she found a white turtleneck sweater and a pair of black leggings that looked like they would fit her. Also grabbing a bra and a pair of panties, she headed back into the bedroom to get dressed.

There was no need to ask Oliver for help this time. He was already there clipping her bra into place then helping her slip the turtleneck over her head. After shimmying into the leggings to find they fit her perfectly, Felicity put on her glasses then slid her arm into the sling. She sat down on the edge of the bed watching Oliver as he tugged on a pair of fitted blue jeans and a navy sweater before turning back to her.

"Ready?" he asked.

Felicity chewed on her bottom lip. "What do we tell Thea?" she replied, realizing that they would finally be facing the younger Queen for the first time since she'd walked in on them. The blush rose on Felicity's cheeks the more she thought about her conversation with Thea the previous. How was she going to explain what had happened between them and how they'd ended up in bed together? This had disaster written all over it.

"I can handle her," Oliver said reassuringly.

"Are you sure?" Felicity replied, still feeling slightly on edge. She'd been adamant with Thea that Oliver was only her friend and that they'd never slept together. With Thea having walked in on them in the midst of a hot tryst, Felicity knew she had a lot to answer for. She could only hope Oliver would diffuse the situation before Thea really started to dig for answers.

"I'm sure," he said, the calm in his voice quickly putting her at ease.

"Okay, let's go," Felicity sighed. She slipped on the brown suede knee high boots she'd worn since the day they'd gotten here and stood up. Oliver held out his hand to her and together they headed downstairs, their fingers intertwined.

"Well, look who's finally up!" Thea snickered as she stood from the dining table. She had also changed into a pair of skinny jeans and an oversized grey sweater. A black pea coat was slung over the back of her chair along with a large matching designer bag.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she gazed at the two of them, their hands still locked together. Thea's expression was unreadable, making it hard for Felicity not to fidget under her scrutiny. "Looking good, Blondie," the younger woman finally said as a smile cracked on her face.

Felicity breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe she was in the clear. Then again, Thea could have been biding her time, waiting to get Felicity alone before pouncing on her. That thought had her tensing again, but Oliver squeezed her hand and the tension quickly dissipated. At least he was there right now ready to answer any questions she couldn't handle herself.

"About this morning…" Oliver started to say before Thea waved her hand to stop him.

"Let's just forget it happened," she said.

"But what was so important that you needed to talk to us?' he asked.

Damn, that man had a sharp memory, Felicity thought as she gave him a sideways glance. She'd forgotten that Thea had come in talking about something.

"It was nothing. I just got a really weird phone call from Roy," Thea replied. Even though it seemed she was keeping things light, something told Felicity she was far more worried than she let on. And that talking to Oliver about her boyfriend was always a sore topic because it seemed that Roy was desperate to find out who the Hood was, something Oliver wasn't too keen on.

"Is he still in Starling?" Felicity asked, knowing she'd be the only one to take Thea's side at the moment. She knew all about Oliver's disapproval of Roy. He'd been angry that the younger man was so obsessed with finding the Hood that he'd dragged Thea into it as well.

Felicity saw it in a completely different light. She saw a little bit of Oliver in Roy. She saw his desperate need to help out any way he could. In that respect, he was exactly like Oliver, albeit not as well trained or disciplined. The boy had potential, she gave him that. But she wasn't about to encourage Oliver to let him join the team, if there was still a team to join. That was something Felicity worried about now that the Undertaking had happened and half the Glades was in a pile of rubble.

"Yeah, he forced me to leave the night of the earthquake, but we haven't spoken since then. I'm a little worried about him," Thea admitted as she looked down at her hands. Felicity knew that fear all too well. She let go of Oliver's hand and stepped over to the younger Queen.

"Cell service out there is probably still spotty at best," Felicity said, trying to be reassuring as she reached out and placed her hand on Thea's forearm. The brunette looked up at her with concerned eyes. Felicity smiled and decided it was time she changed the subject. "Hey, how about we get out of this house for a little while and do some shopping in town? I think you'll both agree with me that we've been cooped up in here for way too long. Besides, the sun's finally out. It'll do us some good to get some fresh air."

Thea paused for a moment, seemingly mulling it over until she replied, "Alright, I'm down for that."

"Great! How about some lunch first? I'm starving," Felicity said.

"Lunch would be fantastic," Thea replied as she slipped on her pea coat and slung her bag over her shoulder.

Felicity tried to follow suit with her own beige trench coat, but having her arm in a sling didn't give her much leeway. It was Oliver who slipped the coat over her shoulders before patting it down so it hung properly along her body. She gave him an appreciative smile before reaching into her pocket to find her keys then handed them to him. Although she wanted to slip her hand back into his, Felicity decided Thea needed her attention a little more than Oliver did so she hooked her arm around the younger woman's to lead them outside with Oliver following closely behind.

"Thea, where did you get that truck?" The edge to Oliver's voice was almost palpable as they exited the front door, the sunlight nearly blinding them as it reflected off the two cars sitting in the driveway.

"It's Roy's," she answered flatly without turning around to look at him.

Felicity could almost hear him growl, but she chose not to acknowledge it. They all headed for her Mini and were soon off towards downtown Astoria, Oliver driving with Felicity beside him in the passenger's seat and Thea sitting in the back. Their first stop: the diner.

Downtown Astoria wasn't a very crowded place. It was a tiny, quiet, off-the-beaten-path kind of town, with only a few stores lining the streets along with the Morningside Diner and Main Street Café. From what Felicity could see, there was also a pharmacy, a bookstore, a grocery store and much to her surprise an electronics store that prided itself on being able to fix anything. Obviously they didn't know Felicity Smoak, she almost snidely thought as Oliver pulled into the same spot she'd parked in a few days prior in front of the diner.

As they entered the cozy little restaurant and began looking for a place to sit, a voice from the counter startled them. "Oh… My… Goodness!" All three of them turned to find Liv standing behind the counter in her pink bowling shirt, her hands pressed to her cheeks with a wide smile on her face. She practically ran from the cash register as she cried, "My little Butter Buns is back in town!"

From beside her, Felicity could hear Thea snicker, "Butter Buns?" as she looked up at Oliver to find him reaching out to the older woman, enveloping her in a hug.

"My, what a handsome young man you've turned into!" Liv gave him an approving once over before turning to his sister. "You must be Thea," she said. "It is so nice to finally meet you."

"Nice to meet you too. And you are?" Thea replied with a smile. Although Liv's enthusiasm was infectious, she was still slightly apprehensive of the older woman who stood in front of her.

"Oh, pardon my manners. I'm Liv Isenberg, Doc's wife and owner of this lovely little diner," she answered, holding out her hand. They shook politely before Liv turned to Felicity. "And, you, darling, you gave me such a fright the other night. It's good to see you looking better."

"Thank… you?" Felicity squeaked out, unsure on how to take the woman's hospitality.

Liv led them to a booth towards the edge of the diner where there was a little more privacy. After they'd settled in, with Thea on one side and Oliver and Felicity on the other, she asked, "So, what would y'all like to drink?"

"I'll have a diet Coke," Thea said.

"Coffee, please," Felicity answered.

"Water," Oliver rounded out their drink order before Liv hurried off to grab them.

"Butter Buns? Really? That was your nickname out here?" Thea said as she sat back against the plush red leather seat. "How has this been kept a secret for so long? You'd think the tabloids would have dug up this little golden nugget ages ago."

"Shut up, Speedy," Oliver shot back with a scowl that only served to make her giggle. His gaze settled on Felicity, who was desperately trying to hold back her laughter. "Seriously, you too?" She could see him getting flustered.

"Hey, I'm totally with Thea on this one. How did you get the nickname 'Butter Buns' anyway?" Felicity asked. After all the teasing he'd done to her the other night, it was nice to get back at him. Finally, Oliver Queen was in the hot seat instead of her.

"He was running through my kitchen after having stolen a cookie from one of the cooling racks," Liv said as she reappeared with their drinks. She set down the diet Coke and water first then a mug for Felicity along with the entire pot of coffee. "Ollie must have been five. He'd been asking me all day when they would be ready, and I told him to stop because he was going to ruin his appetite for dinner. But the boy just wouldn't listen. He snuck into the kitchen before I'd even had time to clean it up, grabbed a cookie thinking he was in the clear, then went sliding across the floor where I'd accidentally dropped some butter. Fell flat on his buns moaning and groaning. I came running in thinking he'd hurt himself, but he just stood up rubbing his little butt with one hand while eating the cookie with the other. And the name just fit... So that was how Ollie got the nickname 'Butter Buns.'"

Thea burst out laughing, "You are so never going to live this down!" Oliver shot her a glare worthy of his alter ego before turning it on Felicity, who was also in stitches beside him.

"I am so telling Dig this story when we get back!" she cried, holding her sides as the ache of her laughter became evident.

"You are not telling anyone, anything. Do I make myself clear?" His tone said "Hood" but his glare had softened. Felicity could see the laughter had a positive effect on him as well. The tension in Oliver's shoulders had loosened as he sat back, his face having taken on a blush comparable to hers when she became flustered.

"Alright, fine," Felicity easily relented as she nudged him with her elbow before they glanced at each other. Taken aback by the beaming smile he gave her, she tilted her chin up to place a soft kiss to his lips. Beneath the table, he laced his fingers with hers as her head fell to his shoulder.

"Ew, get a room!" Thea playfully shot back. Felicity simply stuck her tongue out at her, but she didn't miss the deeper meaning in the brunette's mindful eyes. Nor did she miss the knowing look she got from Liv as she stood beside them, pad and pen in hand waiting to take their order.

"So, now that the trip down memory lane is over, what are y'all having for lunch?" she asked. "I can whip up whatever you like, even if it's not on the menu."

"Do you still make that amazing pulled pork sandwich with the coleslaw?" Oliver asked.

"Anything for my Butter Buns!" She scribbled down his order before turning to Thea. "How about you, darling?"

"I have no idea. What would you recommend?"

"Let's see, I make a mean barbeque chicken sandwich." Liv gave the brunette a soft smile and added, "It's one of the best in town. I make the sauce myself too."

"I'm sold! Put me down for one, please," Thea replied before taking a sip from her drink.

"And how about you, sweetheart?" Liv had turned her attention to Felicity, who was still nestled comfortably against Oliver's shoulder pondering her lunch choices.

"A salad would be good," Felicity answered. Although she wasn't as hungry as she had been earlier, a little something would go a long way today, and a salad seemed fitting.

"Oh, no, I'm not feeding you rabbit food!" Liv practically scolded in a soft, almost playful tone as she scribbled something down on her notepad. "After Doc told me what happened to you, I think you're in need of a good old fashioned plate of country fried steak with mashed potatoes and cornbread."

"Uh… Okay. I guess I'll have that then." There really was point in arguing, Felicity thought. After all, the woman had made them some delicious pastries the previous day. She wasn't about to be the only one to protest her hospitality and possibly offend a woman who seemed to have a very fond place in her heart for Oliver. So she relented, figuring if she didn't eat it all, she'd just give it to him.

With that, Liv scurried off to the kitchen to place their orders with the cook.

"I wonder if Liv has anymore good stories," Thea conspiratorially turned to Felicity and said as she leaned forward in her seat.

"No more stories." Oliver seemed to be putting his foot down this time. The menacing look he gave Thea said it all.

"Alright, alright," she shrugged. "I won't ask."

Their food arrived within ten minutes, the conversation continuing to be light with Oliver's fond memories of Astoria, from summers spent exploring the forest to winters spent sailing around the bay. Liv had stopped by the table several times to chime in with her own stories of Oliver's exploits, but none had been as funny as how he got his nickname. Most were memories of his penchant for getting hurt in the strangest of ways, like falling from a tree when he was six.

Felicity found herself watching the younger Queen through most of the conversation. She could see the worry behind her smiles and laughter. Thea truly was concerned about the phone call from Roy, and for some reason, a tendril of uneasiness ran through her. Thinking of all that waited for them when they returned to Starling City caused Felicity's hand to tighten involuntarily around Oliver's. He gave her a quick sidelong glance and while she tried to smile up at him reassuringly, she could tell he saw through her attempt. He squeezed her hand in return - an unspoken offering of comfort to her. After that, she let herself be pulled back into the light-hearted conversation.

Lunch was quickly eaten, with even Felicity finding herself able to finish her plate as Oliver and Thea looked on in wonder when she asked about dessert. Slices of homemade apple pie with vanilla ice cream were devoured within minutes and soon the overly stuffed trio was bidding farewell to their gracious host.

"Please stop by again soon," Liv said as she wrapped Oliver in a bear hug even though she was only an inch or two taller than Felicity. "I've missed you, Ollie. When I heard about the boat accident, I cried like a baby for almost a month straight. But you're back and, my oh my, is it good to have you here."

"I promise I'll be back again," Oliver said as she kissed his cheek before pulling back.

Liv turned to Thea next, also giving her a big hug before she made her way to Felicity. She wrapped her arms around the younger woman, pulling her close as she whispered in her ear, "Take good care of Ollie for me, please. He may be too big for his britches at times, but he's got a good heart. Always has."

"I know, and I will," Felicity whispered back.

They left the warmth of the diner and headed back out into the cool spring sunshine of the outdoors. Oliver's hand had found its way back into Felicity's as they strode down the sidewalk together with Thea a couple steps ahead of them. She seemed to be in her own little world, her eyes barely straying from the phone in her hands. That's when Felicity decided she needed to stop her from over-thinking about Roy's phone call.

To be honest, she saw a little of herself in the younger Queen with the way she was worried about her boyfriend. It was akin to the way Felicity worried about Oliver. So, she let go of his hand, silently nodding at him that she was going to go with Thea. He sighed, nodding back and giving her a tight smile before turning around. The electronics store was opposite the direction they were going.

Felicity caught up to Thea with ease, her right arm hooking around the younger woman's left, startling her out of her thoughts. "So, ready to do some shopping?" Felicity asked, her smile bright and cheery.

"Um, yeah…" It took Thea a moment to comprehend what was going on before she quickly recovered, giving Felicity a genuine smile as she slipped her phone into the pocket of her coat. "I thought I saw a boutique over here."

"Good, because I'm kinda getting tired of wearing someone else's clothes even though they seem to fit me," Felicity said.

"Well, you do look good in Kate Spade," Thea commented as she pushed open the door to Small Town Girls Boutique and led them into the little clothing store. It may not have been the high fashion the brunette was used it, but it was right up Felicity's alley.

There were several racks of vintage clothing that spanned one wall of the store while the rest was separated into racks of the basics. Felicity's attention was immediately drawn to the vintage jeans she spied to her left and made her way towards them with Thea in tow.

For the next hour they roamed the store, trying on whatever caught their eyes. The longer they shopped, the more comfortable Felicity became around the younger Queen and vice versa. They were both opening up to each other about all sorts of things from high school to hair styles to makeup.

Felicity found herself in the dressing room for the fourth time trying on a cute dress that had caught her eye while Thea leaned against the door outside. The store was quiet except for them and she found herself enjoying the easiness she was coming to feel in this small town. She could tell why it was a getaway for the Queens.

Turning around and looking at herself in the mirror, she smiled at the pattern of flowers that danced along the hemline of the knee-length navy dress. The vibrant colors of the petals pulled her in and she knew exactly what cardigan she could pair with it from her clothes back at her apartment.

Thea knocked on the door. "You almost done, Blondie?" she jabbed good-naturedly, and Felicity smiled, rolling her eyes. If there was one thing she was learning about the younger Queen, it was that patience was not one of her stronger traits, something else she seemed to share with her brother.

Opening the door, she twirled for Thea who smiled and clapped her hands. "You're so getting that! Ollie will love it on you!"

Felicity felt herself blush and looked down, biting her lip. She couldn't deny she'd been thinking of how Oliver would react to seeing her in some of the clothes she'd tried on - not that she was specifically buying for him, but she couldn't deny wanting to see his blue eyes light up when he saw her. In the back of her mind, she heard a voice telling her that his eyes already shone when she walked into the room. For some reason, that voice sounded a lot like Diggle's.

Thea noticed her apprehensive look, and ushered Felicity back into the dressing room to help her unzip the dress. While Thea exited and shut the door, Felicity quickly slipped out of the garment. From the other side of the door, she heard Thea clear her voice and knew she was about to ask something that she might not be able to answer. Quickly, she slipped on her leggings and sweater and pushed the door open so she was face to face with the younger Queen.

"So, you and Ollie…" Thea said as she leaned against the fitting room door watching Felicity's blush rise from her cheeks all the way to her chest through the mirror while she put the clothes back on their respective hangers.

She knew this conversation was going to happen and although Felicity thought she had been prepared for it, nothing came close to the rising panic she suddenly felt as Thea sized her up. "What about Oliver and me?" Felicity asked, trying to keep her voice even, but a slight crack still managed to weasel its way out.

"What happened last night?" Thea asked. There was no malice or accusation in her voice. She was more curious than anything.

Felicity let out the breath she'd been holding as she turned around to face the younger Queen. "A lot of things happened last night," she admitted. "Things that needed to happen…"

"What things?"

"Well, for one, Oliver finally opened up about a lot of stuff he'd been holding back. He got a lot off his chest."

"I'm glad because today was the first day I've seen him look more like his normal, before island self than he has since he came back."

"I never knew him before the island, but this is the happiest I've seen him since we met."

"When did you guys meet?"

"Seven months ago. He came into my office with a laptop he'd spilled a latte on and asked me to salvage the information on it. You brother barely knew how to Google before he met me. Don't get me wrong, he's still an idiot when it comes to technology. He probably still couldn't web search his way out of a paper bag, but he's a quick study."

Thea laughed. "Well at least he's learning something. He still isn't caught up on half the gossip of the last six years. I've been trying to get him to watch some movies with me, but he gets all grumpy and always has to leave for some reason. Does he do that to you?"

"All the time."

"Then good luck being his girlfriend."

Felicity froze, her expression falling at the term "girlfriend." It had just dawned on her that she and Oliver had slept together yet there was no moniker attached to their relationship. She hadn't even thought about discussing what they were until this very moment when Felicity realized she'd just assumed he had feelings for her that went beyond friendship when their whole night together could have just been a way of dealing with the aftermath of all that he'd been through.

"Oh, no," Thea breathed. "You two haven't talked about this, have you?"

Gazing over at the brunette, Felicity shook her head.

"Shit," Thea muttered. "I'm sorry. I had no idea. It just seemed like you two were so happy together that I kinda made that assumption. I should really stop jumping to conclusions. I did the same thing to Roy…" Her voice trailed off as she, too, felt the sudden pang of uncertainty and fear.

"Thea," Felicity said as she reached out to the younger woman, glad for the change of topic. She placed her hand on her forearm and Thea's eyes immediately shot to hers. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything… Everything's fine," Thea wavered as she looked away. Felicity squeezed her arm and she continued, "It's just… I'm really worried about him. We haven't talked since I left the Glades in his truck and I'm scared something might have happened to him. When he called me this morning, all I could hear over the phone was breathing and a few broken words, but then the phone call ended and I haven't been able to get a hold of him since."

Rubbing her hand up and down Thea's arm, Felicity replied, "If you want, I can try and ping his location when we get back to the house. Will that help you?"

"I… I guess," Thea said with a weak smile. They gathered up their purchases and headed for the cash register. Thea had loaded her arms with several shirts and pairs of jeans while Felicity realized she only had enough money on her for a t-shirt. She was getting ready to put down the rest of the things that she found fit her perfectly when Thea snatched them from her and plopped them on the counter along with her purchase.

"Thea, please, you don't have to…" she tried to protest, but the brunette was having none of it.

"Hey, it's not every day you meet someone willing to go out of their way to find your boyfriend," Thea said as she handed the saleswoman her credit card. "Especially when said boyfriend is despised by her brother. So think of this as a great big thank you for completely going against Oliver's hatred for Roy and giving me some peace of mind."

"You really don't have to do this," Felicity replied, still stunned that the younger Queen had shelled out over a hundred dollars on clothing for her.

"It's also rare for my brother to find a woman who actually cares about him and makes him happy," Thea added, grabbing their bags as they headed out of the store. They walked back out into the crisp spring sunshine arm in arm.

Felicity was still mulling over her relationship status with Oliver when off in the distance, she saw him leaning against her car awaiting their return. She paused for a moment and Thea took notice.

"You know what?" the younger woman said, following her gaze and finding her brother at the end of it.

Felicity turned to her and asked, "What?"

"There really isn't a label for what you and Ollie have," Thea replied.

"What do you mean?"

"I told you last night I knew something deep connected you. I saw it today at lunch. The way you two looked at each other… It was like watching an old married couple who had been together for years. I got a little jealous! I hope Roy looks at me like that," Thea lightly joked. It earned her a smile from the blonde beside her. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't concern yourself with labeling your relationship with Ollie. You can figure that out later. What's important right now is that you're together and that you have each other's backs."

Felicity's arm flew around Thea's neck, bringing her in for a tight hug. "Thank you," she murmured into her ear. "I really needed that."

"I know," Thea replied as they pulled apart. "I really think we should head back now because I'm pretty sure Ollie's got his grumpy cat face on."


End file.
